Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 132332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 529(@250wpm)___ 441(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 662(@200wpm)___ 529(@250wpm)___ 441(@300wpm)
I sit back in my chair with a thump. “Have I been weird?”
“I don’t know.” She traces the tip of her finger over her glass. “Once you got over being mad at me for marrying Axel, and Charlotte soothed your inner demons, we were kinda close.” One corner of her mouth curves, like she’s latched onto a fond memory. “Remember the house we shared down in Florida. We all had fun together, right?”
“We did.”
“Then, I don’t know, you seemed to change. I thought maybe you were still mad about Blake and me getting married—”
“I was never mad about you two being together.”
She slants an incredulous look at me but doesn’t call me out. “I thought it was maybe tension from helping Z out downstate or something.”
“Yeah, that was rough.”
“Then, you were there for me every day when Blake was in the hospital. After, I don’t know…”
“You took off on the road with Rooster and Shelby for a bit, don’t forget.”
She pierces me with stern eyes. “Maybe that didn’t come out right. Physically, you’ve been there. Helping me with Alexa on the days I have to work and so we could go out on the road. But lately when we’re all hanging out, you’ve been…I don’t know…distant?”
“I didn’t mean to be.”
“Then I thought it was maybe something else. In one of my psychology classes we talked about how it’s normal for siblings to sort of separate and go their own ways in young adulthood while they each go out and create their own families—”
“Nothing about our family psychology is normal.”
“Jeez,” she snorts. “You’re not kidding. Club life isn’t normal, either.”
I’m not sure what to make of her earlier statement. “I’m sorry if I’ve been distant. This has been a lot to absorb.”
“I can’t imagine.” The corners of Heidi’s mouth turn down. “It had to be a weird thing to discover at your age.”
“At my age… Are you calling me old?”
She blinks as if she’s not sure if I’m teasing her. Then playfulness replaces the confusion in her brown eyes. “Well, now that you mention it...”
I slide my hand over hers and squeeze. “You’ll always be my sister.”
“Yeah, you can’t get rid of me that easy.”
I release her. “Be honest. Is Blake all right?”
Her eyes turn wary, shrewd. Her immediate instinct is to protect her husband, not satisfy my curiosity. As it should be. “He’s fine. It was a…shock. But once we talked through it…” she shrugs. “I think now he’s more mad at you for forcing Charlotte and Hope to keep this a secret for so long.” Her gaze drops as if that’s something still bothering her. How much damage have I done to their sisterhood?
“I didn’t know what else to do,” I explain as honestly as I can. “I hated asking them not to say anything, but I needed time. Then it was just this thing hanging over me that I didn’t want to deal with.”
“Me?”
“No, not you. Never you, Heidi.” I tap the table, so she’ll look at me again. “So, where’d you guys go?”
“It’s a secret.” She runs her fingers over her lips like she’s zipping them shut.
“Okay.” I can’t exactly argue she’s not entitled to her own secrets.
We sit in silence for a few seconds. Heidi stares at her lemonade and traces her thumb over a bead of condensation sliding down the glass. “Rock must’ve been…young. Mom…was his babysitter, right? That’s kind of fucked up.”
Unease crawls over my skin. “Now it makes me wonder if that’s why our…your dad left. Maybe he realized I wasn’t his, got pissed, and ditched us.” I can’t believe I just admitted that to my little sister.
“Yeah,” she scoffs. “The or something being he was a shitty person.”
“That too.”
“I don’t have any memories of him.”
Guilt slips under my skin. One more thing I took away from her. “I do.” I shrug and glance away. “They’re not bad ones. Not all of them, anyway. But now…”
“Have you thought about finding Mom and asking her about it?”
I had considered finding her, then immediately discarded the idea. “What’s the point? What can she possibly say? ‘Oops, sorry I never mentioned when I was a teenager, one of the kids I babysat knocked me up?’” I pull a disgusted face. “Not a conversation I want to have with her.”
Heidi shudders and wraps her hands around her lemonade glass. “I never, ever want her around my kids.”
“Damn right.”
“What the heck happened?” She wrinkles her nose. “Did they date?”
“He remembers her but not a whole lot more than a few bits and pieces.” I gag. “I don’t think it was what you’d consider dating.”
“What’s this mean for you…and for the club?”
“Don’t know, yet.”
“It shouldn’t matter. Lots of clubs are legacy clubs,” Heidi says as if she’s ready to go to battle for me. “That one we met in Texas, Savage Dragons? Remember Blaise? He took over the club for his father.”