Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 111775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 373(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 373(@300wpm)
Shay withdrew his phone and typed.
“Are you sure? I can stay if you don’t want to be alone right now.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to accept his offer to stay, but I knew that would be selfish. I didn’t want to be selfish with him. He’d already been so great taking care of me. It felt like too much to ask for any more than that.
“You don’t need to stay. I’m just going to sleep.” I also needed to have a good, long cry, and I didn’t want Shay there to witness it. He probably already thought I was an emotional wreck, prone to tears whenever anything went wrong.
He typed something else.
“Will you come for dinner tomorrow?”
Regretfully, I replied, “I can’t tomorrow. I promised Vivi I’d visit. Normally, I would’ve gone today, but I was working, helping Mrs Reynolds prepare for the party.”
“That’s okay. Maybe next week,” he typed, and I nodded.
“Definitely.”
With that, he cupped my cheek again, his eyes searching mine before he kissed me chastely. My heart clenched when he rose to leave, and I almost changed my mind and asked him to stay as he headed for the door. When he reached it, he turned around and motioned to the lock. I nodded, knowing he was telling me to lock the door after him. He left, but I didn’t hear his footsteps walking away until I scurried over, sliding the lock into place. Then the steady thump of his boots sounded on the hardwood, and my chest fluttered knowing he’d waited to ensure the door was locked.
Returning to bed, I finished my tea and toast, then switched off the lamp and burrowed under the covers.
When I dreamed that night, it was of Shay.
***
The next day, I’d just brought the kids back from a trip to the nearby park when Delia motioned me into the study. The room was lined with dusty bookshelves. Old newspapers and magazines Ken collected were stacked high on every available surface. In my line of work, I noticed dirt and dust more than the average person. I could tell approximately how long it had been since a house was last cleaned or if it was the sort of place that was rarely cleaned, which was the case with Ken’s study. Then again, some people enjoyed clutter. They found it cosy.
“I was hoping we could talk,” Delia said as she shut the door, and I began to worry. The only reason she’d close the door and speak in such a hushed tone was if there was something wrong with one of the kids.
But then she continued, “I had a call the other day from the Dóchas Centre,” and my stomach dropped. It wasn’t about one of the kids being sick. It was about something that might actually be worse. Much worse.
My mother.
The Dóchas Centre was the nearby women’s prison where she’d been residing for the last eight years. No one had heard from Mam in all those years, and I’d naively thought she’d decided to let us all get on with our lives and forget about her.
“It was Catherine,” Delia confirmed, and I instantly felt sick, panic and dread threatening to drown me. It was hard enough keeping her out of my head on the best of days. She always found some way to break through, especially when I looked at myself in the mirror and saw her staring back at me. Why did I have to look so much like her? Why couldn’t I have taken after my nameless father instead?
“W-what did she want?” I asked, finally finding my voice.
“Goodness, Maggie. You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Delia declared.
Yes, I might as well have. “What did she want?” I repeated.
Delia wrung her hands, her attention wandering to the dusty shelves then back to me. “She wants to see the children. She asked if I’d bring them to visit her for Christmas.”
“Oh. Right,” I said, trying to still my pounding heart. I should’ve known that was coming, should’ve known she’d eventually become curious about the kids and want to see how they were doing. It wasn’t my place to prevent her, no matter how much I might want to. I was protective over them, and I knew seeing Mam could destabilise the kids in a way that might disrupt the decent life they had. I wanted to shield them from that more than anything, but they weren’t my children, and I didn’t have the power to stop them seeing their mother. Besides, just because I had no desire to see her, that didn’t mean Vivi, Robbie, Shelly or Eamonn might not be interested. The thought of them wanting to see her made me feel ill, but I had to accept it was a possibility.
“I’ve never been inside a prison before,” Delia continued. “I told your mother as much on the phone, said I wouldn’t be comfortable going there. Ken isn’t prepared to go either.” A pause as she eyed me. “We were wondering if you’d do it.”