Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 111775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 373(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 373(@300wpm)
With deep regret, I caught her hand in mine, her gaze lifted, and I shook my head.
Something clouded in her eyes. “You don’t want me to …” she trailed off and turned away from me, something crestfallen in the tilt of her head as she grabbed her hoodie and tugged it back on.
I pulled her to me and cupped her cheeks, again shaking my head, trying to show her I wanted nothing more than for her to keep touching me. Her expression lost some of its disappointment. “Okay, so you do want me to, but maybe not right now?”
I nodded. A breath left her, her tension dissolving. I went to wash my hands, then stepped over to where I’d hung my coat by the door, grabbing my phone and air pods from the inside pocket. Maggie was sitting up, her back resting against the headboard when I returned to her. She took the pods without question and put them in her ears.
I settled in beside her and opened the text to speech app in my phone. I’d fiddled around with it during my lunch break and managed to find a better sounding voice. It was generic Irish and male. It was a little closer to what I sounded like in my own head.
I sometimes wondered if everyone had an inner voice like I did or if their thoughts were more abstract. Perhaps the voice in my mind was so much louder because that was the only place it got to exist.
“I don’t want to rush things with you or make you feel pressured,” I typed into my phone, and Maggie’s eyes lit with understanding.
“Oh,” she breathed. “You changed the voice. This one’s much better,” she said, falling silent as a thoughtful look passed over her features. “I never feel pressured with you.”
“Good. Because I only ever want to do as much as you’re ready for.”
“Thank you. This is quite new to me. Well, not new, but … I haven’t been in a relationship for a very long time.”
That information caught my interest. “How long?”
Maggie exhaled, her eyes on the flower pattern of her duvet cover. “Seven years, I think? I kind of swore off all that because, well, I have issues, obviously.” She lifted her head, staring up at me. “What about you?”
I looked at her, my surprise at her answer probably written all over my face. I felt sad she’d been alone for such a long time, but I was also filled with a possessive pride because, if I was the first person she’d let get close to her in so many years, it had to mean something. She’d placed her trust in me, something she clearly didn’t do lightly, and I was more determined than ever to prove myself worthy.
“My ex-girlfriend and I, Emer, broke up a little under a year ago,” I finally replied.
“Oh,” she said, a faint frown tugging at her lips.
“What?” I typed. “Why are you frowning?”
She tucked some hair behind her ear. “It’s just … That’s not that long ago.” She paused to study me, her next words curious and a little worried. “Are you over her?”
A swift pang hit me square in the chest at the insecurity in her voice. I wanted nothing more than to reassure her Emer and I were over completely. There were no residual feelings. I held her gaze firmly. “I’m over her, Maggie,” I typed, hoping she saw the truth of it in my expression.
A small, relieved exhale escaped her. “Oh. Okay, good. But … what happened? Why did you two break up?”
What I really wanted to talk about was why she’d avoided relationships for seven years, but I expected she was uncomfortable with the topic, and I didn’t mind telling her about Emer. Enough time had passed it was no longer a sore subject.
“She cheated on me,” I answered simply, and empathy filled Maggie’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry. I was cheated on, too, by a guy I was seeing in my early twenties.”
“What happened with him?” I typed.
Maggie worried her lip, and I expected her to say she didn’t want to talk about it, but then she began, “His name was Brendan. We were only together for a few months. He worked as a janitor in an office building I used to clean. When I found out he’d been seeing another woman at the same time he was seeing me, I immediately called it off. To be honest, I was glad I discovered the truth before I developed any kind of serious feelings for him.”
I stared at her, surprised by the amount of information she’d just told me. I suspected Maggie didn’t open up like that very often. “He sounds like an idiot.”
She chuckled softly. “Yep, he pretty much was.” A silence, then, “What about Emer? Do you know who she cheated on you with?”