Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 111775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 373(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 559(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 373(@300wpm)
All I wanted was for her to tell me everything. To clear up whatever it was that happened with Nigel, reassure me there were no feelings or attraction on her end, so I could put the whole thing to bed. I couldn’t lose her. I wouldn’t.
“Hey, that was quick,” she said as I entered. “I didn’t expect you back so soon. I was thinking of putting a film on. What’s your favourite genre? Action? Comedy?”
Instead of answering her, I paced the floor, but Maggie’s flat was so small there wasn’t much room to pace. Seeing my agitation, she reached out to touch my arm. “Shay, is everything all right?”
Pulling out my phone, I typed, “What happened between you and Nigel?”
Her hand fell away as her eyebrows drew together. “Between me and Nigel? Nothing. What are you talking about?”
“Just tell me everything. I don’t care if it’ll hurt me. If something happened between the two of you, if he touched you, I’d just rather know the truth now.”
She moved forward, her eyes tilted in concern. “You’re acting so strangely right now, Shay. There’s nothing between Nigel and me.” She tried to touch my hands, but I stepped away. I ran one hand through my hair until I was gripping the back of my neck. With the other hand, I typed frantically.
“Please. Just tell me.”
“Shay, the last time I spoke to Nigel was the night he came to apologise to me, Siobhan and Bob. You already know everything that was said between us on that occasion. Previous to that, I’ve interacted with him twice. Once outside my flat when he was drunk and the other time was at your house for Sunday dinner.”
“Then why the hell did he just tell me he’s in love with you?” My eyes flashed to hers, demanding an explanation.
Maggie blinked. “He told you what?”
“He drank himself blind. I found him face down on his couch, and when I managed to rouse him, he started rambling and apologising, saying how he was in love with you and that he was sorry for ever touching you.”
Maggie lifted her hands in the air, her eyes wide in bewilderment and disbelief. I started to wonder if I’d made a terrible mistake because she didn’t look guilty. She only looked hurt. Hurt and vulnerable and confused. Fuck.
“Okay, hold up a m-minute,” she said, a catch in her voice. “He actually said he was in love with me. He mentioned me specifically?”
I frowned because no, Nigel hadn’t said Maggie’s name, but who the hell else could he be talking about? I was in love with one woman, Maggie, so that obviously meant …
Blood drained from my face as I dropped down onto the couch, feeling cold all over.
“Shay?”
Once more, I replayed Nigel’s words, and it all became so much clearer.
I know you love her, but I love her, too. I can’t stop thinking about her. Never should’ve touched her. I need her. She told me not to tell you, but it’s killing me inside. I hate myself for doing it. She’s so beautiful. I think about her all the time.
He hadn’t been talking about Maggie. He was talking about Emer. A different sickness came over me because if what Nigel was saying was true, then that meant …
He was the one she cheated on me with.
Renewed fury boiled inside me, not because I still cared about Emer’s cheating, but because my supposed best friend was the one she’d slept with. For over a year, he’d been coming to my house, eating food my father cooked, and all the while, he’d been the reason my relationship fell apart. I'd believed Emer when she’d said it was a random hookup, but there was nothing random about it. How long had he wanted her? Was it all through our relationship? I didn’t care if he thought he was in love with her. If he had feelings for Emer, then he should’ve told me, not gone behind my back.
I thought back on the last year, noting the changes in Nigel’s behaviour. Often, he’d turn up late to Sunday dinner, sometimes cancelling completely. He even invited me to hang out with him less often. Was that the reason? Was he keeping a secret so big it was eating away at him? A secret that was sure to destroy our friendship?
Listlessly, I turned to Maggie, not thinking when I signed, I’m sorry. I got it completely wrong.
“You’re sorry?” she asked, managing to translate some of what I said.
Coming to my senses, I typed into my phone. “I got it wrong. He’s not in love with you. When he started rambling about being in love with someone I loved, my thoughts just instantly went to you, but it wasn’t you …”
“Shay,” Maggie said, a wobble in her voice that caught my attention. My eyes flicked to hers. They were shiny with unshed tears, and it crashed into me once more how much I’d upset her. “I’m very confused,” she went on.