Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 75240 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 376(@200wpm)___ 301(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75240 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 376(@200wpm)___ 301(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
With that I got up and walked out of the room, not looking back.
I knew we weren’t done.
I was going to take him up on his offer to put Elise in bed. I already took him up on his offer of rent.
What I was second guessing was taking him up on the offer of his body.
We both wanted it. That wasn’t the question.
What I didn’t know, and likely would never know, was if I’d be enough for him.
***
“There are no guarantees in life,” Bowe’s deep voice poured over me.
I looked over my shoulder at him.
He was standing in the doorway that led to my back porch, one muscled shoulder leaning against the wall as he looked down at me, studying my every move.
“I know.”
I did know, too. I knew that tomorrow wasn’t promised.
What I couldn’t get past, though, was the heartache of what was to come.
Would the heartache of what might come trump the heartache never having him to begin with?
Maybe.
Yes.
“Your daughter is asleep in her crib.”
My eyebrows lifted at that.
“Really?” I asked. “How’d you manage that?”
“I gave her a bottle and after she was done I put her in her crib awake. She cried out in anger for all of twenty seconds, and then closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.” He told me what I already knew.
I’d witnessed it on the monitor.
I also liked what I saw.
Would it be bad to ask him to do that every night?
“My baby’s growing up.”
My worry must’ve been evident in my voice because he abandoned his perch against the doorframe and came to me, taking a seat directly next to my backside. The added weight made the entire swing shift, and I rolled backwards until he was halfway underneath me.
I was on my porch swing which was really a large bowl-like contraption with a huge cushion on it.
It was great for reading or studying—which happened to be what I was doing at that particular moment in time.
Or had been until Bowe came back.
“But imagine all of the fun things you get to do with her once she gets older,” taking a hold of the ponytail holder that was haphazardly holding my hair up, and giving it a tug.
My hair left the bun as if it’d never been, and settled down around my shoulders and face, falling down my back and landing on Bowe’s chest that was directly behind me.
The tightness that was surrounding my head diminished, and I sighed.
How he knew I had a headache, I didn’t know. He was likely a mind reader.
“Thank you for giving her a bath. I don’t realize, sometimes, how stressful it is to be doing this on my own until I have the help I never knew I needed.”
He trailed his fingers down my neck.
“My sister used to have a little girl about the same age as Elise,” he whispered.
I tensed.
“My sister, Margaret, and her daughter, Lacey, both died instantly. They were driving down the interstate when a tractor trailer jackknifed. They had no other choice but to hit that thing head on. Died instantly.”
My belly started to sour.
“That’s terrible,” I whispered.
“She looked just like Elise,” he said. “I think that’s why my parents are having such a hard time with you.”
I hadn’t actually mentioned anything about his parents to him. I didn’t want to burden him with my negative feelings.
It surprised me that he not only knew there was trouble, but explained it to me so that all of those hard looks from his parents now made sense.
“That’s terrible,” I repeated. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“How could you when nobody told you?” he asked.
“Do you have any more siblings?” I asked.
He’d, of course, met mine. A lot.
It wasn’t uncommon for them all to come over at random times in the day or night. Hell, sometimes Alec even showed with his kids and dropped them off without a word.
That’d happened twice now, and I’d had to explain to Bowe each time that I did the same thing to him when it came to Elise.
That was just our family. We counted on each other, and no explanation was needed when it came to us. We all knew the others like the backs of our hands.
It pained me to think about Bowe not having that.
“It was just me and my sister,” he said. “My brother-in-law is around, but it hurts him to see us, so he stays away.”
I frowned.
Leaning over to drop my school book to the ground, I rolled carefully until I was facing him, half in his lap, half on the swing.
“Have you tried to do anything more?” I asked him.
He nodded.
“It’s a no-go,” he said. “My brother-in-law, I think he’s been drinking a lot. Every time we try to intervene, he pulls even further away. His parents are keeping an eye on him, though. And his own sister.”