Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 85387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 427(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 427(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
“Okay?” I ask, and I’m not a fan of her tone. It’s low, unsure, and it suddenly makes me nervous. “Having second thoughts?”
“Ugh, I’ve had thirty. But I’m going. I’m committed.” I flash her a grin, and she looks back down at where she’s moving the straw in and out of her cup. “But if we come upon a bear, trust and believe, I’m pushing you down and hauling ass.”
I let out a roar of laughter at that, and her sweet, angelic laughter joins in, her eyes crinkling with the emotion. As my laughter fades, I nod. “I will gladly be bear food for you.”
“My hero,” she swoons, pressing the back of her hand under her chin in the most adorable damsel-in-distress pose I’ve ever seen. Fuck, she’s pretty. Her braid swings and then comes to rest along her shoulder. I want to grab it, wrap it around my hand, and yank her toward me. I’d kiss the fuck out of her. I’d explore her mouth. I’d taste every single inch of her and then beg for more.
What the hell.
Why am I lusting so badly for this girl?
I try to get ahold of my raging emotions before I say, “But that’s not what you wanted to ask, is it?”
Her hand falls away as she blows out a long breath. “No.”
“What is it, McDavid?”
Her eyes stay locked with mine. “If all this wasn’t happening and you could still get into the NHL with no issues, would you still want a wife?”
“No,” I answer honestly and without hesitation. “I don’t want to be married. I don’t want to be responsible for someone’s feelings, their needs, and their protection. I want to play hockey and selfishly care about nothing but myself.”
Her eyes widen with each word, but she doesn’t look away. Her chin is high, and her lips are turned down. Guilt eats me alive, knowing I put that frown on her face. She shouldn’t be frowning; she should be giving me that little sneaky grin of hers. The thing is, I can’t lie. I have to be truthful, not only for her, but for myself. Maybe I could have toned it down a bit, because in those greenish-brown eyes, I can see the gears grinding. She’s going to say no. I’m not worth a coffee shop. I’m not worth her time.
I’m not marriage material.
CHAPTER 12
Eliza
As much as I expected him to say what he did, it still stings.
And I don’t know why.
His words are nothing to me; they’re not even directed at me. They’re his truth, but they sting. I’ve spent the last couple days fully avoiding him and thinking about his proposition.
Usually, I’d confide in my sisters, mainly Louisa, but I couldn’t with this one. I know she’d say it’s a bad idea, and I worry it’ll trigger her trauma from our youth. Where we were just the property of men, not valued or respected. I’m basically giving up a year of my life to a man who doesn’t even care for me. Yes, it’d be my choice, and I’d get an established business out of it, but I’d still be allowing a man to own me.
Only, it doesn’t feel like that.
I don’t know how to describe it, but I know he wouldn’t disrespect me like I’ve been in the past. I trust him and believe in him. It’d be easy to be married to him. Or maybe I’m just thinking that since I’m over being on the dating scene. I’ve been performing the same song and dance for the last couple years. No one has been good enough for a relationship. Only quick sex, where I was never satisfied.
I’m tired. I’m sick of putting myself out there and not finding a partner. I know the right one is worth waiting for, but the thought of having an instant companion is mighty appealing. Especially when you add in that I’ll have my own business when it’s over.
The only thing holding me back is the fact that I know I’ll develop feelings for him.
And then I’ll be broken.
But I’ll be broken with a business, so really, I’d be dumb to say no. I just need to know a few things before I commit.
“You can go.” I feel his gaze on me, and when he doesn’t move to steer the car out of his parking spot, I look over at him. “I’m ready.”
He presses his lips together, almost like he’s trying to keep in whatever he wants to say. Then Coleson looks away and puts the car in drive. The tension around us is heavy as he drives, but I’m too lost in my thoughts to ease it. I know I don’t have to ease anything, but I’ve always wanted to make things smoother for everyone. I don’t like awkward, and I don’t like silence. I lick my lips as my nerves eat me alive. “How many bedrooms does your place have?”