Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 131821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 527(@250wpm)___ 439(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 659(@200wpm)___ 527(@250wpm)___ 439(@300wpm)
It’s as if an anchor is tied around my neck, tugging me farther down by the second. My emotions battle for dominance: guilt and sadness, confusion and regret. But it’s the overpowering sense of longing that burrows me deeper into the sand, because what right do I have to miss someone new when I’m supposed to be missing someone else?
I want to rewind time and speed it up at the same time.
I want to go back and shield him and jump forward and walk away.
More than that, I want the exact opposite.
I hate what life has done to me, but I hate myself for what I’ve done even more.
A soft clink of glasses snaps me out of it, and I take a deep breath, blinking several times to clear my head before stepping from the hall into the open kitchen area of the rental.
Everyone turns the minute I appear, varying expressions of concern on each of their faces.
“He’s asleep,” I whisper, offering a small smile as I cross into the space to join them, Deaton’s baby monitor sitting right there in the center of the table.
The sight makes my heart beat a little faster, and I’m forced to blink the tears away all over again, because my god, I’ve never known such real friendships existed. I never have to ask for their help or support. They give it freely and without fail. Without expectation.
Brady pulls out a chair beside him, patting the cushion, and Ari scoots the bowl of chips closer to the center.
I lower into the seat, a heaviness on my chest as they end whatever card game they were playing and redeal to include me.
It would be a lie if I said I’m the only one who feels the tension in the air tonight. With Paige and Cameron still feeling sick, Ari worried about her brother, and likely all of them trying to work out what exactly happened at the pub tonight, the mood has turned sour.
It’s clear everyone only rallied to make sure Mason was okay, especially when we don’t make it through a full game of Uno before we’re calling it quits and Ari and Noah are jumping up to make us a late-night snack.
I trudge over to the couch to get more comfortable, and I can’t help but stare at the couple hovering over the stove.
Noah slips behind Ari, wrapping his arms around her as he holds her hand in his, a pair of tongs tight in her fist. He helps her flip a slice of Spam, then turns his head, whispering something in her ear, and her head falls to his chest in silent laughter. The spatula is set down, and slowly she spins in his arms, their lips meeting in a soft kiss. I should look away, but I can’t.
There’s just something so pure about the sight that a small flicker of hope warms my bones. They just stand there, staring into each other’s eyes with a look akin to longing, which is crazy because they’re together. But I guess that’s the thing about finding that one person who was meant to be yours.
There’s no such thing as too close.
No such thing as too much.
No such thing as letting go.
That warmth turns to ice, and I swallow to settle the sting.
A coffee cup slips into my vision, and I blink, looking up into a pair of green eyes.
Chase is wearing a tight expression, his smile forced and eyes a little…sad. “Don’t torture yourself with that view,” he whispers, peeking quickly into the kitchen. “It’s just warm tea.”
A small smile pulls at my lips, and I take a moment to smell the herbal aromas steaming from the mug. “Thank you.”
He nods, and I can’t help but glance toward the kitchen once more.
Ari’s sitting on the edge of the counter now, Noah between her legs, eyes intent on her as she tells him god knows what, but the look on his face, it’s complete and total awe.
The man is enraptured. Midsentence, he reaches up like he just can’t help himself and takes her face in his hands. He doesn’t say anything, and she just smiles in return.
Sighing, I look back to Chase.
He lifts a brow, speaking in a hushed tone. “It’s like watching a chick flick in real life, isn’t it?”
“What do you know about chick flicks?”
“Do you have any idea what Cam and Ari put us through growing up? Forcing us to sit through romance movies was their favorite form of blackmail when they’d find out we lied about going out so they wouldn’t ask to come.”
“Why not just let them tag along?”
“You mean aside from Mason being a protective asshole when it came to his sister?”
A smile breaks across my lips, and the two of us laugh. I can’t help but notice he doesn’t seem all that bothered by the happy couple, even if there is something troubling him. He could have easily gone to bed to avoid this altogether, yet here he is, sitting beside me in perfect view of the girl who, once upon a time, wanted to be his.