Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 138683 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 555(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138683 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 555(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
I felt the full force of Scout’s grin. “Is that who we gotta meet?”
“Yes, it is. Her name is Tessa, and we are going to…”
The lie locked in my throat before it could reach my tongue.
Yeah, Tessa and I had talked about this. How to handle our relationship. How it was going to affect my kids.
Even with the precautions we were taking, with the sacrifices Tessa was making, I knew in my gut that this sham wasn’t going to come without consequences. It wasn’t going to come without disappointment and more confusion and wounds that I fucking hated inflicting.
But I was fighting for something eternal with my kids.
For a home and their peace and their knowledge that they were the meaning of this life.
That they weren’t secondary.
That they were worth a hell of a lot more than one goddamn afternoon a week.
“This is Tessa, and she and I are going to get married.” I tried to keep the roughness out of the confession, but it came out sounding like a double-edged blade.
A blessing and a curse.
A tremor rolled through Tessa, head to toe, and her mouth tugged at the side while she waited there like she wasn’t sure of her place.
“You don’t got a wife.” Scout giggled like it was absurd.
“Well, since I don’t have one, I wanted Tessa to be mine.” Fuck, this was rough.
Unsure, Remy trembled in my arms. Both curious and distraught.
“But what about Mom?” she whispered close to my ear.
Agony cut me in two.
Grief.
Guilt.
My arm tightened around Remy’s waist, and I shifted so we were facing each other, so I could connect with her golden eyes that were just a shade darker than mine. “Marrying her will not replace your mom, Remy, and I will love her forever, but it’s okay for us to love someone else, too, since Mom’s not here to be with us.”
The heresy abraded my throat, razors cutting through.
Remy warred, unconvinced, peeking back at Tessa who glowed in the backlight of the sun before my daughter was whispering to me like a secret, “She looks like sunshine.”
My spirit flailed. “Yeah, she does, doesn’t she?”
I lifted my chin, asking Tessa to come closer, and the woman slowly crossed the space before she was getting down onto her knees in front of us, so cautious and careful and with such discretion and mindfulness that I was terrified I fell for her a little bit right then.
“Hi,” she whispered, attempting to tuck wayward locks of red hair behind her ears that kept flying into her face. “I’m Tessa. It’s so wonderful to meet you both.”
Scout got to his hands and knees, hopping toward her like an excited puppy. “Hi, Tessa. Look it what I got!”
He dug a little metal spaceship out of his pants pocket and started flying it through the air in front of Tessa’s face while making a bunch of rocket noises.
“I’m gonna be an astronaut when I grow up.”
A giggle slipped from Tessa, and her gaze slanted to me for the barest flash, one of those looks that promised we had this.
Could only pray we did.
Because I knew the risks.
It was hazard and peril, but it was also a newfound hope.
All those blurred lines promising the only right choice was the one of our hearts.
Resting her butt on her feet, she turned back to my son. “You are, huh?”
“Yep, I’m gonna go to space.”
“To the moon?” she drew out, her eyes wide in awe.
Scout frowned. “No way. People have already been to the moon. That’s old news. We gotta go all the way to Mars if we’re gonna discover somethin’ new.”
“Oh, well, then, that’s going to be awesome, just like I bet you’re pure awesomesauce.”
She poked his belly, and he tried to grab for her finger, cracking up, his voice twisted like she was crazy. “Awesomesauce? You mean like apples-sauce? Because my gramma says it’s okay to eat the apples-sauce, but I can’t get no more cookies, and I am starvin’. Did you even bring lunch because I really hope so?”
He popped up on his knees, bouncing six inches in the air.
Affection pulled tight across my chest, and Tessa was fighting laughter, this softness about her that was soothing the air that burned with chaos.
It was a chaos that for the last four years I hadn’t known how to tame.
Stuck in a windstorm that would never cease.
And now…now it felt like there was a chance at peace.
“We sure did. Just how hungry are you?”
“The hungriest. I got the growls.” He rubbed his stomach.
God, how desperately I loved this kid.
Affection kissed Tessa’s pale cheeks, and she carefully shifted her attention to Remy, who still stood reticent at my side. “Hey, Remy.”
“Hi.” Remy’s voice was quiet.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
Remy blinked at her. “Do you love my dad?”
Right.
Okay.
I shouldn’t have been surprised it would be Remy who put us to the test.