Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 55551 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 278(@200wpm)___ 222(@250wpm)___ 185(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55551 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 278(@200wpm)___ 222(@250wpm)___ 185(@300wpm)
“It was implanted a few years ago after a crash. I had to have brain surgery, and while I was under, they put something in to stop me from being afraid. It worked very, very well. Maybe too well.”
Several years ago…
I am lying barely sensate in a hospital bed with crisp bleached white sheets. Nothing hurts anymore, and that alone is a relief. A lot of things were hurting for hours. A lot of things have been hurting for a long time, actually. Ever since I got into Galactic Prime Personal Security Academy, GPPSA for short, I’ve been getting hurt.
I cast my mind back to the day I arrived here…
I shoulder my bag nervously. Most of the other cadets have several suitcases, because you’re supposed to bring everything you need when you start at GPPSA. All I have is what I’ve come with, which isn’t very much. I don’t own many things. I’ve got one set of the uniform, one set of boots, a bedroll with a pillow, and I also have a toothbrush and three new pairs of socks. I thought that was a lot, but now that I’m watching others dragging big rolling cases behind them, I’m realizing I have nothing at all.
My dormitory assignment is in the basement. There are bigger, nicer rooms upstairs, but I’m here on a scholarship rather than a fee-paying sort of situation, so I go down while the others go up. If I had a big suitcase, that would make things easier, I suppose.
I glance at the card in my hand. It has my face on it and my name, and it also has my room assignment number, and a bar code that they can scan to know everything about you. There are just so many people here nobody can know them all by face and name. I’m a code now. A code assigned to this room right…
SMACK!
A fist comes out of nowhere, making harsh, crunching contact with my nose. I fall back, just barely missing cracking my head on the door frame. Lying on the ground, head spinning, nose bleeding, I look up into the merciless eyes of my attacker.
A woman stands over me, around my age, but twice my size. She has an expression of satisfaction on her face. “You’re not going to make it,” she says. “You’re going to wash out in the week. Colony trash.”
My roommate’s diagnosis proved to be accurate… lying in the medical bay with injuries so severe it’s likely I might not survive them, all I have left are my senses. I can taste blood. I can feel pain. And I can hear the doctor talking to my parents, who must have scraped the village’s last credits to come here. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be the one who made it out. I was supposed to bring pride and money to my family and village. Instead, all I’ve done is bring them shame and disappointment.
“She’s weak. That’s her problem, Mr and Mrs O’Shannassay. She’s soft. Not cut out for this. Not cut out for anything, if I’m to be honest. It’s a tough world out there, and our students have a reputation for being able to keep anybody safe in any situation. I’d recommend this procedure. Yes, it’s experimental. But I think the benefits outweigh the potential drawbacks.”
The only thing between my parents and the doctor and me is a frosted pane of glass and it’s not doing anything to stop the doctor’s voice from traveling. She’s a woman from a very privileged background, and every word she says sounds like it has been rolled around a mouthful of marbles.
It’s very different from my accent, and from the way my parents talk. They’re speaking more softly than ever. I know they’re ashamed. I’m their only child, and the only one who has any chance of bringing any money into the family. The village scraped up just enough money to get me into the academy, and though I’ve been working as hard as I can, I’m not doing very well.
“She’s scared. And the fact is, if she stays scared, she’ll keep making mistakes that are going to get her killed. And, more importantly, they may get the people she is being paid to protect killed. She will not graduate from the academy as she is. But with the implant, we can turn her from a cowering puppy to the ferocious guard dog she needs to be. All her reports indicate she has moments of brilliance and bravery. She’s smart. She’s tactically brilliant, in fact. But if she can’t overcome this fear, she’s going to be useless to herself and everyone else.”
Useless…
That word echoes through the years and finds me sitting in another medical bay, being looked at with the same kind of sad disappointment I experienced before. People hate it when they find out that you’re weak. They might not like it when you’re a pain in their ass, but they really hate it when you’re a complete mess.