Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 84195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84195 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“He’s not a hookup kind of guy, Ma.” I loved that I could talk to her about things like this. I doubted there were many people who could. It was one of the things I loved most about her.
“Why limit yourself, Sky? Talk to him. Maybe it’ll be a hookup, but maybe it’ll be more.”
The truth was, I was nervous it could be more, and I couldn’t let myself do that. More was scary as hell. More meant broken hearts and putting them back together. I’d seen enough of hers over the years.
“Nah, he wouldn’t be interested.” I hoped that by playing it off as if it was Clark, she would let it go. This was my mom, though. I should have known better.
“Don’t let my mistakes guide your life, okay? I know I’m…a bit of a mess. I always have been, but you’re better, baby. You’re smarter than I am too, and—”
“Mom, no.”
She held up her hand. “I’m serious. Let me get this out. I know you’re afraid to ever risk your heart because of me, and I hate that, but…you’re not me. I’m a lot for people. I’m too much. I jump right in with my heart and not my head. You’ve always used your head and your heart. Plus, you’re the best. Any guy would be crazy not to fall for you.”
The thing was, Mom didn’t get that I was just like her. I was too much for some people. I jumped right in and didn’t think things through. Still, what I said was, “I’m not afraid of anything, but I don’t want to settle down. Being single is way too much fun.”
And it was. I’d always loved it. I’d never had any regrets about how I lived my life, but I still wanted Clark.
“Don’t lie,” she said. “It doesn’t suit you. I’ve always respected your honesty and your bravery. If you want something, you go for it. You speak your mind. Now isn’t the time to change that.”
I opened my mouth to reply but wasn’t sure what I would even say. I wasn’t brave, and if I spoke right then, I wouldn’t be honest either. The waiter arrived with our food just in time, keeping me from having to lie to my mom again.
“This looks delicious,” Mom told him as he set her fish-and-chips in front of her.
The waiter winked at her. “We made it extra special just for you.”
Mom giggled. I wonder if that meant she and the neighbor weren’t talking anymore. It showed again just how much of a coward I was when I didn’t let myself ask.
I went home after lunch and still had Clark and my current predicament in my thoughts. I distracted myself by looking at that job online again—not for the first time. It was still there. Suddenly, I got an idea for a funky little outfit, flashy and over-the-top, and I couldn’t get it out of my head.
I worked for a while, then had to put it aside. Bored, I opened Grindr, scrolled for about two seconds, then closed the app. There was no one there I wanted anyway.
I took a shower, did my makeup for fun, then…waited. When had I turned into such a homebody? Usually I was out doing something.
When my phone buzzed, I picked it up to see a text from Clark.
You going to be around tonight?
Yep, I’m home now. Miss me?
I waited for him to reply. God, I was like, waiting waiting.
Of course. I always miss you. You’re on my mind all day, every day!
Ha-ha. I know sarcasm when I hear it.
It took him a couple of minutes to reply. Sorry. Got a call. Anyway, I’m heading home. I’ll bring dinner.
My hero! I teased.
He sent back an emoji that stuck its tongue out at me, and I giggled, seriously giggled. Ugh. I hated this.
Be home soon, he added.
I went into the living room and sat on the couch, totally not waiting for Clark. It wasn’t long before I heard the key in the lock. He came in with bags of food, the scent of grease and rice in the air. “Chinese. God, I love you. Have I told you how much I love you?” I could eat Mar Far chicken and pork fried rice every day of my life and never get tired of it.
“No, but you should. I even got you extra fortune cookies. I know they’re your favorite.”
My heart did this little flip-flop that didn’t mean anything at all. “You did?”
“Of course.” He smiled. His glasses were sliding down his nose, and it might have been the cutest thing I’d ever seen. I reached out and pushed them back up for him, and Clark sucked in a sharp breath.
“Sorry.” Had I done something wrong?
“No, it’s fine. I’m just… Want some wine?” He gave me his back.