Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56217 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56217 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
I didn’t want this, but heaven help me, I couldn’t stop it. As much as I was pleased she was willing to accept my terms, I felt guilty about it too. It was insulting and unfair to her. Why she agreed instead of slapping me again, I didn’t know.
I arrived home too late to eat with Lily but early enough that she was still up.
“Daddy! Look what I made.” She held up a piece of paper she’d been drawing on at her little art station in the living room.
“What is it?” I looked at the crooked lines crisscrossing the page.
“A sped-sheet of my toys.”
“She’s going to be a tycoon when she grows up,” Mrs. Douglas said. “She’s enthralled by the spreadsheet.”
Another influence of Bella.
I spent the evening with Lily and her spreadsheet, then read her a story and put her to bed.
“Daddy, when can I come to your work again?”
“I don’t know, Lilybug.” I put the book I finished on her side table.
“I want to see Bella and be your assistant.”
What was it about Bella that she bewitched both me and my daughter?
“Maybe sometime you can come for a little visit.” I couldn’t ask Bella to entertain Lily again, but I hated saying no to my girl.
“Her mommy is gone too. And her daddy. He’s not in heaven though.”
I was reminded again that Bella was alone. It somehow made her sweet and kind demeanor even more extraordinary. And me using her for my own sexual release even more despicable.
“That’s sad.”
“Maybe you can be her daddy too.”
I choked. Christ. The truth was, I was nearly old enough to be her father. Plenty of people had kids at seventeen, which is how old I was when Bella was born.
“Can she come to my birthday party?”
I sighed. I loved Lily but sometimes her conversations were difficult for me to navigate. There was so much I didn’t know about the world that she was curious about. And of course, in this case, how could I explain to my little girl she couldn’t invite Bella to her party.
“Bella has her own life, sweetie. She’s probably busy.”
“You can ask her.” Lily looked up at me with her gray eyes. It was the look that tugged directly on my heart.
“We’ll see. Right now you need to go to sleep.” I pulled her covers higher on her. “Goodnight Lilybug.”
“G’nite daddy.”
Once out in the living room, I poured a drink and took a moment to regroup. I didn’t like denying Lily but I couldn’t invite Bella to her party, even if the thought of it was nice. What would people think? What would Patsy and Jim think? They’d have to guess there was something between me and Bella, and that would hurt them, I was sure of it. They still reeled over Joanna’s loss as I did.
At the same time, Lily’s reminder that Bella was alone in the world made me want to invite her. What did she do when she wasn’t at work? Did she have friends? She didn’t have a boyfriend. It didn’t sound like she went out. If she did, she’d have certainly met another man. There was something wrong about a beautiful, vibrant woman like Bella going through life alone. She had so much to give. It made my proposition to her even worse. By agreeing to it, she was putting off finding her own life. A man to love her. Friends to spend time with. Hobbies to enjoy. I should put an end to this, and yet the very thought of it made my chest hurt.
Was it possible to be addicted to a person? How was it possible this woman could make me want her so intensely that it overwhelmed my reason and my will?
My phone interrupted my ruminations. The caller ID showed it was Patsy.
“Patsy. How are you?”
“Good Blake. I was calling about Lily’s birthday. We thought we’d come stay in the city. Make a weekend of it.”
“Lily would love that.”
“Did she tell you she wanted to invite your assistant?”
I frowned. When had Patsy talked to Lily? “Yes. I told her Bella probably has something else going on.”
“She seemed fond of Lily. You don’t think she’d come?”
I looked at my phone wondering what was going on. “She’s my assistant. It’s not in her job description to attend my personal functions.” It wasn’t in her job description to give me a blow job either. I scraped my hand over my face wondering why I was losing control of myself.
“I know, but she was so sweet with Lily and Lily doesn’t stop talking about her.”
“When did you speak with Lily?”
“I called over to your place after school to ask her about her birthday. We need to compare our lists, Blake, so we don’t get her the same thing.”
I blew out a breath. “Yes, of course.”
There was silence for a moment. “I know it’s a strange request to invite your assistant, but Lily is so taken with her and… I just want to give that little girl everything she wants. She’s lost so much already.”