Total pages in book: 30
Estimated words: 29019 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 145(@200wpm)___ 116(@250wpm)___ 97(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 29019 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 145(@200wpm)___ 116(@250wpm)___ 97(@300wpm)
A buzzing sound makes me start, and I sigh. Ugh, it’s my phone. Hoisting myself off the couch, I waddle towards the kitchen where it’s plugged in and immediately stub my toe against the baseboard, making me double over in pain.
“Hello?” I answer sharply.
“Hey girl,” my friend Christine burbles. “What’s going on? You sound like you’re in agony there.”
I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, I’m so big that I can’t see my feet anymore, so I just ran my toe into the counter. It’s just so frustrating, but honestly, it could be worse. I could have hit my head and collapsed in a heap before being eaten by wolves.”
On the other end of the phone, Christine giggles.
“You’re not going to be eaten by wolves,” she says.
My tone is dark.
“You don’t know that. I’ve heard there are packs of stray dogs roaming through Staten Island.”
My buddy titters again, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, but that’s Staten Island. We live in Manhattan, girl, and there definitely aren’t packs of stray dogs here. In fact, I’ve never even seen one stray dog in the time I’ve lived here.”
“Okay, no stray dogs,” I grouse. “Maybe rats then. My dead body will be devoured by rats.”
Christine goes serious then.
“OMG, I think you might be right on that one because there are So. Many. Rats. In this city. It’s crazy. I saw one dragging a slice of pizza down the subway stairs the other day.”
I lean forward with excitement.
“OMG, you saw Pizza Rat?”
My friend is confused.
“He has a name?”
I nod.
“Hell yeah! He’s like a meme now. People videotaped that rat dragging a slice of pizza around, and he has his own Instagram account now. He’s a celebrity.”
Christine clucks her tongue.
“OMG, who would have guessed? Only in New York,” she says in a rueful tone. But then my buddy changes the subject. “So how’s the bump today?” she asks in a cheery voice. “Do you feel more like an elephant or a hippo at the moment?”
I laugh because if anyone can understand my pregnancy woes, it’s my friend. Christine has two small children of her own—Paddy and Jeremiah—who are less than two years apart. Despite her busy life as a mom of two, however, my buddy always finds the time to call and say hi.
“Hippo, definitely,” I respond, rubbing my belly. “An elephant can still be graceful, and I’m definitely not.”
My friend laughs good-naturedly.
“You still haven’t found out if it’s a boy or girl?” she asks.
I shake my head as I answer. “No because it would make things too in-your-face,” I confess. “I’m just not ready to have a kid!”
My friend immediately tries to calm me down.
“Of course,” she says in an easy tone. “It’s totally a personal decision, and I respect that. Although it would make it easier to know what gender of baby stuff to buy you,” she hints.
“You don’t need to buy me anything,” I immediately say. “Although I do appreciate it if you do,” I add, feeling a bit embarrassed. After all, the reality is that I can’t afford most of the items I need for the new addition to my family, and I’d be grateful for anything. But I don’t want to beg either, because it’s too humiliating.
“You’re definitely getting a baby gift from me,” Christine says in a firm tone. “Something big and good, too.”
“Thanks,” I say softly, looking down at my hands. “I appreciate it.”
“Of course,” she replies before smiling. “So how did the doctor’s appointment go the other day? Oh wait, hold on a sec,” she says before turning to soothe her youngest son.
“Is that Jeremiah?” I ask, hearing a baby’s soft cries in the background.
“Yeah, he’s teething, so I’m the only person he wants right now. Well, me and my boobs. But don’t dodge my question, girlfriend – appointment update?”
I shoot her a wobbly smile.
“Well, it’s not ideal, but there isn’t much I can do about it,” I begin in a slow voice.
“What is it?” Christine asks, her voice thick with concern, now cradling the baby.
“It’s nothing bad, but kind of what we expected from last few appointments, and it was confirmed today. I have elevated blood pressure, so the doc told me I need to de-stress.”
She nods.
“That seems like solid, common-sense advice. Are you doing yoga? Meditation? I have a really good app I can send you, if you want.”
I smile ruefully.
“Yes, please do. But more than that is that I’ve taken a leave of absence from work, so it’s just me, sitting on my couch with my big belly these days. OMG, I’m so bored!”
Christine laughs. “Cherish the boredom,” she advises, “because in just a few months you’ll miss it.”
“Yeah, but how many soap operas can I watch before my mind turns to mush?” I whine. “It’s practically leaking out of my ears at this point.”
“Exactly forty weeks worth,” Christine reassures me. “Trust me, Days of our Lives is good, girlfriend. I watched a ton of that show both times I was pregnant, and I still watch it sometimes even now.”