Total pages in book: 64
Estimated words: 60851 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60851 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
“Maybe.”
But the thought of turning up on Ewan’s doorstep was unappealing. If Ewan didn’t want to see him, Dev didn’t want to force the issue. A cold ball of hurt had lodged in Dev’s stomach. Ewan obviously didn’t want to spend time with him anymore, and if that was the case, there wasn’t much Dev could do to change his mind. All he could salvage from this was his pride, and he wasn’t going to beg.
That evening the doorbell rang as Dev was distracting himself by playing Mario Kart with Jez and Mac, who were on a break from their revision. “Just one more game,” had turned into several, and Dev was only too happy to be swept along with it. It was hard to think about much else when you were trying not to fall off the track on Rainbow Road.
Engaged in a fierce battle for the top three places, none of them moved for the doorbell.
The bell rang again.
“Fuck, isn’t anyone else in?” Mac growled, hitting the Pause button.
He hauled his long body off the sofa and went to answer the door.
Dev eased the tension out of his shoulders. He’d been hunched over the controller for far too long.
“Dev?” Mac called from the hallway. “It’s Ewan, for you.”
Dev’s stomach did a peculiar swoop—half anxiety, half excitement. “Sorry. I’ll bail on this game,” he said to Jez.
“Sure.” Jez nodded. “Good luck,” he added quietly.
Dev passed Mac in the doorway, who gave him an encouraging smile.
“Hi,” Dev greeted Ewan uncertainly.
“Hi.”
Ewan made no move to touch him, and a cold hand squeezed Dev’s heart. Ewan’s freckled face was paler than usual and there were dark smudges under his eyes. His mouth had a pinched, unhappy look to it. Dev might not be the best at non-verbal cues, but even to him it was obvious he wasn’t going to like whatever Ewan had to say.
Ewan’s next words confirmed Dev’s worse suspicions. “We need to talk.”
Had four words ever sounded so ominous? “Upstairs?”
Ewan nodded.
Dev led the way, his heart sinking lower with each step. He dragged his heels, trying to delay the inevitable.
As soon as Ewan closed the door behind them, he started talking as if he was desperate to get this over with.
“I’m sorry, Dev. But I can’t do Friday. I… I want to call things off.”
Even though Dev had seen it coming, the words still struck him like a blow to the solar plexus, robbing his breath. He managed a single word. “Why?”
Ewan’s gaze slid away from Dev’s and he flushed. “I just… I don’t want to carry on with our arrangement. I’m on top of my statistics now, and I think you’ve learned plenty from me. You don’t need me anymore.”
“But you never topped me.”
The words escaped before Dev could stop them. He was pretty sure Ewan was already well aware of that— the one thing on the list they hadn’t done. Knowing it was never going to happen made Dev ache. He hadn’t meant to get so attached to Ewan, but maybe it was inevitable. Humans had evolved to bond with people through sex. He should have seen it coming.
It had been stupid to think he’d be able to do all that stuff with Ewan and not care about him. Ewan had been his first for everything—well, almost everything—and that meant something to Dev.
He wanted Ewan to be the first person to fuck him too. “Couldn’t we just do that? It’s only one more evening. Then we can call it quits. I didn’t think fucking me would be too much of a hardship.”
So much for not begging. Dev was horrified at himself, but he couldn’t help it. One more evening with Ewan would be better than nothing, and if he knew it was the last time, at least he could make the most of it.
Ewan’s flush darkened and he frowned. “No. Like I said, I don’t want to do it anymore.”
His voice was harsh and the words stung like a slap in the face.
“I don’t understand.” How could Ewan go from wanting Dev to fuck him, to not wanting him at all? “What’s changed?”
“It feels like things got out of hand.” Ewan’s amber gaze bored into Dev’s, and there was something there Dev couldn’t read, some meaning that eluded him. “It was supposed to be a fuck-buddy thing, friends with benefits… but this weekend was different. I think it’s best if we stop before anyone gets hurt.”
“Well, maybe it’s too late for that,” Dev blurted out. His cheeks burned and his eyes stung.
There was a long pause.
“What do you mean?” Ewan’s voice was hoarse, and there was tension written in every line of his body.
“I’m sorry.” Dev shrugged. “I didn’t mean to fall for you. I know this was supposed to be a no-strings arrangement. I thought I could do that, but I can’t. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable by wanting more.”