Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 73425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 367(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 367(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
I continue cooking, and hot oil splatters everywhere. Soon, I’m making even more of a mess. Spoons bang into pots, there are green beans all over the counter, and even more, I’m mumbling incoherently like a homeless dude. It’s mainly me chastising myself because not only did I sleep with Mira, but I also fumbled the after care. What the fuck? I don’t do that normally. Usually, I’m a playboy. I know exactly what the ladies want, and I say what needs to be said to get them out of my bed asap. But this afternoon? I don’t think I said a single word after we were done. Not one damn thing. Instead, I just stood there like an idiot, and let Mira think she’d done something wrong.
Which is completely untrue. She did nothing wrong. She was so sweet and beautiful and giving, and I still can’t get my mind off it.
“Seriously, man.”
The words jolt me out of my rumination. I almost jump out of my skin and throw the spoon at Jason. What the fuck?
My friend chuckles, eyeing the cooking implement.
“What’s going on, bro? Did something happen today?”
I should keep my mouth shut, but instead, everything comes rolling out.
“Yeah, something happened,” I acknowledge. The meal is basically ready, so I turn off the burner.
“Oh yeah?” my buddy asks. “Do I want to know?”
I snort.
“No, but it has to do with our flock.”
That does it. Jason’s interest is piqued and he’s all ears. I know my co-pastor won’t be happy, but I have to tell him what happened. After all, we’re partners in this venture, and I can’t keep something like this hidden. He might have some words for me, but I deserve it. After all, if I was on the other side of this, I would definitely give him an earful.
He stands there, waiting while tapping the countertop with his fingers. We’re so close, we’re practically brothers. It’s going to be fine. I just need to remain calm.
“So today, a member of our congregation stopped by,” I begin casually. “I found her in one of the pews, crying, so I invited her back to my office to talk.” I take a pause, thinking about how I’m about to word this. I decide not to beat around the bush because what’s the point? What I did is totally taboo, and I might as well just get it out there. “One thing led to another, and Mira and I ended up making love in my office.”
Jason looks at me with what I’m sure is disgust, but then he collects himself and his expression smooths.
“Yeah? So what caused it? I mean, why did you sleep with her? It couldn’t just be the tears. Come on man, I know you.”
I swallow.
“Um well, Mira is a beautiful woman who came to me in her time of need, and I guess I was drawn to her. She truly is gorgeous, but she’s also vulnerable, and you know how that goes. It’s so rare to see vulnerability in the city these days. Most of the women we meet are jaded with walls around them ten feet high.”
Jason looks thoughtful. That’s true. Most of the ladies here work like fiends at high powered corporate jobs, and breaking down their armor is like trying to assault a fort. It takes a man with a hard heart, not to mention a hard head.
“Okay,” says Jason slowly. “We’ll figure this out. It’s bad but it’s not too bad. I mean, we didn’t take vows of celibacy or anything. How old did you say she was?”
I shrug.
“I didn’t say, but my guess is twenty or so? She’s in college.”
He nods.
“Okay, that’s good at least. It was legal.”
I hesitate for a moment.
“Yeah, it was legal but there’s actually one other thing.”
Jason stares at me.
“What?”
I take a big breath.
“She’s taken a Promise Vow, you know that thing where girls promise not to have sex until they’re married.”
Jason stares at me.
“You didn’t – “ he begins.
I cut him off.
“No, I did. We did it the back way instead,” I clarify. My friend starts nodding, his gaze calculating. I can practically see the gears turning in his head.
“Okay, so this is a problem.”
“Yeah, no kidding. She came to me for help, and I pretty much took her virginity. Sort of.”
Jason sighs.
“Fuck man. Did you think at all before you did this?”
I start getting defensive.
“You know just as well as I do that we didn’t take vows of chastity, so there’s nothing wrong with the act itself. But yeah, we have obligations to our flock as their pastors. They come to us when they’re lost or confused, and I violated that trust. I get it. Believe me, I get it.”
Jason looks at me, shaking his head like a disappointed big brother.
“Well if you get it, then why did you do it? You need to exercise better judgement than that, my man. Seriously. What the fuck got into you?”