Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 68006 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68006 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 340(@200wpm)___ 272(@250wpm)___ 227(@300wpm)
She blows her nose more daintily than I expect.
“What can I get for you? Water? Herb tea?” I glance out the bedroom door toward the kitchen.
She blows her nose again. “Nothing.”
“You sure?”
“Just stay here. Stay here with me. Please.”
I’m not made of steel. Sleeping in bed next to the woman I love without touching her will be far from easy.
But I will do it.
And not just because it’s my job.
My job description doesn’t entail sleeping in the same bed with her.
I’ll do it because I love her. Because I’ll do anything in the world for her. Including sleeping with her but not sleeping with her if that’s what she needs. I should have done it in the first place.
“All right.”
I let go of her, and she lies down. I pull the covers over her. Then I go around the other side of the bed and climb in.
The cotton sheets are cool, not warm from her body because she’s been sleeping on the other side.
I can’t cuddle up to her to warm myself, but that’s okay.
This is what she needs.
And I’m the one who doesn’t want to be used.
I know all too well how nightmares can shake your soul. I learned to deal with them long ago. They come with the territory of being a SEAL. They will probably always be part of my life. They will always dredge up memories that I would choose to forget if I could.
Thinking about Wolf…
One of the four of us who didn’t make it home.
There was Ghost—a ginger with the fairest skin ever. A young kid who died in a foxhole with Buck.
Wolf, called Wolf because his last name was Woolf, who died in captivity while Buck and I survived. God, the guilt I felt for that. Still feel.
Eagle, who—seriously—enjoyed bird watching, was killed by friendly fire. Still pisses me off.
Ace—so called because he had the best luck at poker I’d ever seen. He took his own life after the woman he had fallen in love with was killed by her older brother…for falling in love with an American.
That one hurt, mostly because I’ve never understood why he did it.
But I’m in love now. In love with the woman lying next to me.
Would I end my own life if hers ended?
No, I don’t believe I would, but I sure wouldn’t feel like going on.
And this is a woman who I just met, a woman who doesn’t even return my feelings.
I remember when Buck’s love, Amira, was killed by a suicide bomber. How I worried that Buck would go Ace’s route, choose not to live anymore.
But he didn’t.
Not the sprightly Buck.
Thank God, because he and Aspen are so perfect together.
Kelly’s back is to me, and she sniffles into her pillow, shuddering slightly.
I ache to hold her, to comfort her, and yes, to warm myself with her body.
Would she ask me if she needed to be held? Do I have the strength to hold her and comfort her without shoving my dick inside her?
Yes, of course I do.
“Kelly?”
“What?” She sniffles again.
“Can I hold you?”
She doesn’t turn. “Yes,” she says into her pillow. “Please.”
I scoot toward her, spoon her, take her warmth against my cold chest.
I expect her to complain about my cold skin, but she doesn’t.
My cock reacts, of course. How can it not? I’m in love with her, and even if I weren’t, she’s so damned beautiful. So damned sexy.
I scoot back a bit so my erection won’t bother her.
But she echoes my movements, scooting backward, wiggling her ass against my hard cock.
God, I know she’s only using me. I want her so much. I love her so much.
She’s wearing a T-shirt and bikini underwear. I could easily dissolve those in an instant.
As much as I want to slide my cock inside her, I can’t help but remember the text.
I have a knife and a penis, and one of them is going inside you tonight.
I don’t think a cock is what she needs tonight, whether or not she’s aware of it.
Still, she wiggles her ass against me, and my cock aches. It fucking aches.
So I decide.
If she asks for sex, I’ll give it to her. But she’s going to have to ask for it. I may not be able to control how hard my cock gets, but I can certainly control what I do with it.
“Leif…”
“Yes?”
God, my cock is throbbing.
“Would you—”
A pounding echoes through the room.
Kelly jerks away from me, sitting upright. “Someone’s at the door. Who would be at the door at this time of night?”
I sit up next to her, grip her shoulders. “You’re safe with me.”
“It’s him.” She trembles. “The text said tonight. Either the knife or his…would be inside me tonight.”
I move away from her, rise, and pad out into the living room.
The pounding again. The pounding at the door. The pounding in my head.