Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 64966 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64966 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
But whatever. Add that to the very long list of all the ways they sucked.
17
Malcolm
It was jarring when Joy started to cry, because like I’d told Daniel, I hadn’t seen her do that since we were kids. All the pressure had reached its boiling point, and it was good that she was letting it out. I rubbed her back while her tears soaked the front of my button-down shirt, and I spoke to her quietly, assuring her it was going to be okay.
After a while, she sat up and sniffed. She reached for a tissue and loudly blew her nose. Then she picked up the conversation right where she’d left off before the tears started. “Am I a terrible person. Mal? Be brutally honest.”
“No, you’re not.”
“But then, why does Felix’s mom hate me so much?”
“She’d hate anyone he wanted to marry. Literally no one would ever be good enough for her baby boy. You shouldn’t take it personally.”
As a lawyer, of course she was going to argue with me and present some evidence to back it up. “But I was so awful that my wedding planner quit on me. She’s been in that business for nine years. Do you know how many rude, mean, unreasonable assholes she must have dealt with over the course of her career? But I was bad enough to get her to run for her life, a week before the wedding!”
I shrugged and went with, “Maybe she was going through some stuff. Who knows?”
“Why won’t you just be honest with me and tell me I’m awful?”
“Because you’re not. Are you letting the stress of the wedding get to you? Absolutely. And are you putting way too much importance on how Felix’s mother feels about you? Yes. For sure. You’re stressed out, and maybe you’re losing patience with the people around you, but that doesn’t make you a terrible person. What you are is someone who puts way too much pressure on herself to be perfect, and that makes you expect perfection from others in turn.”
She sighed and dabbed her eyes with a fresh tissue. “I really did want this wedding to be perfect. My first two were anything but, and I wanted this one to be different. I wanted it to be drop-dead gorgeous, and I really did want to impress Felix’s mother and his snooty social circle. I wanted to show them I’m good enough for Felix. I’m a Sterling, for god’s sake! We may not have their New England pedigree, but it’s not like we made our money in the last five minutes, either.”
“If I could have one wish for you, it’d be that you stop caring about what other people think and remember why you’re here. You love Felix, and he loves you. Tomorrow, the two of you are going to pledge your love for each other and make a lifetime commitment. That’s beautiful, Joy, and it’s all that really matters.”
She sat up straighter and frowned. “I don’t know why I’m acting like this. I really don’t. It’s not like me! Here I am, crying my eyes out like a school girl, when you know what I did yesterday? I argued a case in front of the Supreme Court! I killed it, too. You should have seen me. I was calm, confident, and totally in control. How can I go from that to this in a day?”
“This is temporary, sis. Now that you’ve let yourself cry, put it behind you. Tonight, when we’re having dinner with both families, remember who you are—that tough as nails, strong, capable woman who stood in front of the highest court in the land yesterday and held her own. You’re letting these people intimidate you, but no more. Instead of worrying that your mother-in-law doesn’t think you’re good enough, make her worry that she’s not good enough for you. Spoiler alert—she really isn’t.”
Joy grinned a little and muttered, “You make it sound so simple.”
“It can be. Remember when you first started law school? You asked me how you’d ever manage to project enough confidence to argue a case in court.”
“And your advice was to fake it.”
“That’s right. I told you to go in there and pretend you were confident, no matter what your inner critic was telling you. I also said if you did that often enough, eventually you wouldn’t have to fake it anymore. Why can’t you do that with Felix’s mom and his arrogant social circle?”
“I can. And no more crying, I’m done with that now.” She pointed a manicured finger at me. “Don’t you dare tell anyone I broke down like this.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
She got up and strode to her closet. Then she pulled out a red dress and hung it on the closet door. “I’m going to start treating this like a day in court. Never let them see you sweat, that’s key.”