Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 64966 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64966 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
“Pretty much.”
“I’m fine, Daniel. Really. I wrote those songs at the darkest point in my life, but that was over twenty years ago. When I revisit them now, it’s because they’re the best things I’ve ever written, and they’re a part of me. But they’re too personal to ever put them out into the world.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. When I woke up last night and went into the living room, I thought I’d find you listening to a recording. It didn’t occur to me that you might be playing the songs yourself.”
“You don’t have to apologize, and I appreciate you checking to make sure I’m okay.”
After a pause, I told him, “I have no idea what caused you that much pain, but I’m glad it’s behind you.”
His tone turned light and teasing. “You don’t? I thought you’d done your homework before you crashed that party. Almost every article about me mentions the fact that I went to rehab for drug and alcohol abuse in my late twenties.”
“Oh! No, I didn’t know that. Did you write those songs during rehab?”
“Right before. They were a cry for help. But then I realized no one was going to save me, so I had to save myself. I was estranged from my family at that point, and my friends were partying as hard as I was, so they didn’t see how badly I was spiraling out of control.”
“Even Ginny?”
“She was living in London at the time, and all she knew about my life was what I told her. She definitely would have come back to the US and helped me if she’d had any idea, but I didn’t want to worry her, so I let her believe I was fine. She’s still mad about that to this day.”
“So, what ended up happening?”
“On my twenty-eighth birthday, I staggered out of a club at two a.m., hailed a cab, and asked the driver to take me someplace that would help me get sober. I felt totally out of control, and I thought if I didn’t get some help that night, the drugs and alcohol were going to end up killing me.”
I curled up on my side as I asked, “And he drove you to rehab?”
“No. He drove me to a church. The janitor answered when I knocked. It turned out he was a former addict, and he took me to a treatment facility. I ended up staying there for four months, and I’ve been clean and sober ever since.”
“Thanks for telling me all of this.”
“Of course, not that it was a secret. The thing about being a public figure is that all my highs and lows are out there for the world to see, in countless news stories and articles. There’s no escaping my past, not that I’d want to.” I could hear him shifting around, and then he said, “Anyway, that’s the long story behind those songs. When I’m playing them, I’m not feeling sad, or sorry for myself. I’m appreciating them for their brutal honesty, and I’m reminding myself I’m a survivor. If I can get through that, then I can get through anything.”
Malcolm and I ended up talking until almost two a.m. Once we finally ended the call, I sighed and pulled the blanket over my head.
I was really starting to like this guy—and that was a problem.
7
Malcolm
As I picked my way through my storage unit on Thursday morning, Ginny muttered, “Way to save this for the last minute.”
I was trying to find my tuxedo and some suits for my sister’s wedding, and she was right, I should have done this sooner. But, as I pointed out, “I’ve been a bit distracted these last few days.”
“Oh, I know. It’s not like I haven’t noticed you’ve been spending about twelve hours a day, every day, having sex with a man half your age.”
I shot her a look as I climbed over the back of a couch. “We haven’t just been having sex. If I tried to do that for twelve hours a day, I’d be dead by now. But thanks for calling him a man, as opposed to a boy, a twink, my midlife crisis, or my child bride, like you usually do.”
“I know it’s not just sex, and I really am happy that you’ve been feeling inspired enough to write music again. But you have to admit, you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with him, especially since we don’t know if we can trust him.”
“Are you still stuck on that? You did a lot of digging online, and you didn’t find anything suspicious.”
“But his social media is all locked down on private and he’s not accepting new friend requests. What’s that about?”
“The only reason you think it’s a red flag is because you already decided he’s up to something. It’s coloring your perspective.”