Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 55153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 276(@200wpm)___ 221(@250wpm)___ 184(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55153 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 276(@200wpm)___ 221(@250wpm)___ 184(@300wpm)
Back at their house, I walk them both to the door, and Jasmine mumbles her thanks for dinner and goes straight inside, fighting tears.
“I’m sorry,” Kylie says, looking on the verge of tears herself. “I didn’t think…I just didn’t expect this.”
She’s doubting things, and that scares the hell out of me. I’ve never felt this way about a woman, and I can’t lose her.
“I’m not in any hurry,” I remind her. “If you need me to wait, I will.”
She nods. “I just need some time to figure things out. I’m so sorry, Pax. It has nothing to do with you.”
My muscles tense nervously, but I remind myself to relax and be patient. It’s hard, though. I don’t know if it’s going to be okay. When a woman says she needs time to figure things out, that’s usually a relationship’s death sentence.
“You know where to find me,” I say. “Take all the time you need.”
Tears flood her eyes when she looks up at me. “Good night, Pax.”
“Good night, Kylie.”
I walk back to my car, absolutely stunned, still not fully processing what just happened. It wasn’t a good night, though, I know that. And the worst part is, there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
Chapter Twenty
Kylie
“Checkmate.” Lyndon sits back in his chair in The Canyons’ rec room, his eyes dancing merrily. “Much better that time, kid. You learn fast.”
Sam nods, his brows knitted together in concentration. “Can we play again?”
Lyndon glances at his wrist, and even though there’s no watch, he says, “My afternoon happens to be wide open. Let’s go again.”
For a nine-year-old, Sam is quite mature. He’s incredibly focused on every game they play. I imagine it has a lot to do with growing up around so many older people. His parents had at-home care for him, but I saw in his file that a few years ago they decided they wanted to spend more time on their yacht, and it was too hard to get Sam off and on it. That’s when they moved him to The Canyons full time, where they visit several times a year.
It’s stunning that some people can just leave their kids behind and live a life without them. Jasmine is like an extension of me; I’d die before I turned my back on her.
“Hey Kylie,” Lyndon says. “Think you could get us a couple of cold ones from the kitchen?”
I look up from the shelves I’m organizing, which are stacked with board games and books.
“I could probably score a couple of cold root beers. Maybe some chips or extra pudding cups.”
Sam nods, more enthusiastic than I’ve seen him in the hour I’ve been in here. “Can you see if they have chocolate pudding?”
“You’ve got it.”
I walk over and put my arm around his shoulders, kissing the top of his head. He’s so close to Jasmine’s age that loving on him comes naturally to me.
“Keep it up, Sam,” I say. “You’ll be beating Lyndon in no time.”
He beams at me, that little bit of motherly affection and encouragement feeding his confidence. As I walk to the kitchen, it hits me again how hard it must be for Sam to not have either parent around.
I’ve always been sad that Jasmine never knew her father as more than a motionless figure in a hospital bed. She knows he was a hero who sacrificed himself for our country, and she’s proud of him. But she grew up never seeing his smile or getting hugs from him. Pike has been there when he could; he flew to Kansas City when she was in kindergarten just to take her to a daddy-daughter dance.
I’m the only parent she has, though. Pike has a family of his own with Indie and Nolan now, and hopefully more kids in the future. He’ll always be Jasmine’s uncle, but I’m her mom. She has to come first for me, always.
The truth stings. Hard. It burns in my chest and brings tears to my eyes as I enter one of the walk-in refrigerators at The Canyons and retrieve two cans of root beer and two chocolate pudding cups.
My reality has been a bitch for the past eight years or so. And that hasn’t changed. It’s a different reality now, and it isn’t ripping me apart like Eric’s injury did, but it still hurts. A lot.
Jasmine isn’t ready for me to date. I thought she’d soak up Pax’s attention the same way she does with Pike. It never occurred to me that she’d feel cheated by me being in a relationship with a man.
After our dinner with Pax last night, I went up to her bedroom to talk to her. She was curled up on her bed, her back to me and her face buried in a pillow.
I sat on her bed and tried to talk to her, but all I could get out of her was that she was feeling sad. It was a helpless feeling. I curled up with her and told her it was okay, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up next to her at one in the morning and tiptoeing off to my own bed.