Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 74643 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74643 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
"I'd like to make you happy," I look into her stunned expression and realized she might think I'm proposing. "I'm not proposing Nicole, not yet. But I came over here to talk to about the fact that I think we can take this relationship deeper. I know Adam and Cameron want the same thing that I want which is to have more of you, more of the time. We're fucking obsessed with you, can't you see that?"
She's still looking down, not meeting my eyes. I hate it when she feels shy in front of me. I gently tilt her chin upwards so that she has no place to gaze except into my own eyes.
"I'm just not ready Chase. I just can't let go with you guys. It's been on my mind all day and I don't know what to do."
I can tell her what to do. She has to loosen her reins on life a little bit. She has to learn to live a little bit.
"Nicole you've done something for me. You've rekindled my passion for politics and my passion for life. When I met you I was unfazed by all of it, by all of the glory and all of the glamour. I'd like to do the same for you, I'd like to do something similar."
I wish that she wouldn't hold back with us but I discern that there must be a reason, and that's what I'm going to get out of her tonight.
She drinks her champagne and I pour her some more. She looks so beautiful in the evening light.
"Tell me, Nicole, tell me why you can't submit fully to us. What's holding you back?"
There she is avoiding my gaze once again. I wish I could take away whatever pain is causing her to close up.
"Come on," I prod.
She seems to give in at last, "You want to know what it is Chase? I've had my heart broken before by a guy in the past. The pain was so awful that I vowed never to experience that again. I’d never trust another man like I trusted him. You say you were jaded by life? Consider my stance. I've been jaded about men ever since that happened."
Oh, so that's what it is. She's coming off from a heartbreak. I wish I could explain to her that I’d never do that. I wish she could see into my soul and understand how predominantly I value her.
Instead I say, "You have to understand baby that Adam, Cameron, and I are so different from that. We're grown men and we know what we want. We'd never put you through this if we didn't really mean it. The thing about this arrangement though is that you have to trust us. Trust is crucial or it won't work."
I hate to even have said that but she has to know the truth. If she can't trust us they were just all wasting our time. The thought of losing her is forefront in my mind as I think about the fact that she has the option to choose to run away. I just hope she has more strength than that.
"You guys would leave me?" She asks and there are almost tears in her eyes.
"No baby, I'm not saying this to scare you. We don't want to leave you. But if you can never trust us then there's no point. You can't have a relationship that doesn't include trust."
I want to rush to console her. I never want to see the sad look on her face again. But I know I'm here to deliver a truth that she needs to hear.
"I've been thinking about you guys," she says.
This gives me hope that maybe she's starting to come over to our side of things a little bit.
"I mean, I'm starting to miss you guys. I thought I wanted to be alone here in my space within the city. But after I left your estate the other night Chase, I couldn't get you guys out of my mind. I wish I had stayed the night with you. I want to get over this trust thing. I just don't know how."
At last, she's being honest with me. From this point on we can build a platform of trust that will never break. I just needed her to take this one little step forward. She did that by trusting me with the painful knowledge about her past.
I lace my fingers through her hair and pull her in for a long and passionate kiss.
"Baby, we're going to help you get through this. By telling me about how hurt you were, well you see that that was the first step? From here on, everything's going to be all right."
My words seem to reassure her. She takes the cup from my hand and climbs onto my lap where she kisses me so hard and deep.