Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 77005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
“You mean like the scorpion and the frog?”
His mouth kicks up on one side. “Something like that.”
Then it hits me like a shockwave reverberating down to the soul. The realization that I’m not like Athena but I’m just like my dad, picking men for the wrong reason… hoping to domesticate a wild animal when everyone knows that bears don’t do well in captivity.
The look on my father’s face says he accepted his fate long ago. But I haven’t.
“What about her being an absolutely shitty mother? Can I blame her for that?”
His eyes fill with pity. “That’s for you two to work out.”
This has always been a bone of contention with my Dad. He won’t take sides. I needed him to take my side so many times when I was growing up. I needed it so many times I lost count. But he never threw shade at her. Not once.
“I know what you want me to say, Blue,” he continues, “But I can’t fix this for you. As much as I’d like to, I can’t. You’re going to have to do it for yourself. And after you do, come see your old man. I’ll give you a hug, tell you I love you, and listen when you need to talk.”
Chapter 11
I get back home to Ojai after dark. Even though I know Mona checked on the animals before turning in, I want to see how Billy and Hazel are faring. I’ve been keeping them in a stall at night instead of the paddock with the ponies and other animals, so they could have some time to bond.
I’m happy to see them sleeping peacefully side by side, snuggled together. Fishing my phone out, I snap a picture to post on social media tomorrow.
“Sleep well, my babies. See you in the morning.” Turning off the lights, I step out of the barn.
I can feel him before I see him. Shane is sitting in one of the green Adirondack chairs on the porch of the guesthouse. I can sense him watching me even though I can barely make out his face. It’s a clear night and the stars are out but it’s still inky dark.
“Blue,” he says quietly, voice extra-raspy tonight. It gets into my bones and gently pulls me toward him.
My heart beating fast, each step I take reminds me of the conversation I had with my father only hours ago. Do I want to wind up like him? Alone at fifty-six? Pining away for a person I love who I couldn’t hold onto because he didn’t want to be held back? Shane told me he’s a bad bet. You should believe people when they tell you who they are.
I don’t feel comfortable taking the chair next to him and he doesn’t invite me to sit so I lean against one of the posts holding up the roof overhang.
“What are you doing out here in the dark all by your lonesome, Colonel? Or should I call you Eamon?”
“Not if you want me to answer… it’s my father’s name. As I’m sure Aidan’s told you.” He raises a glass half-filled with what I assume is contraband booze to his lips and takes a sip.
“Did you have fun that night? Letting me make an ass out of myself?”
He exhales and leans back in the chair. “You didn’t give me a chance to explain.”
I replay the scene in my head. Okay, maybe he’s right about that, but still.
The silence continues. In fact, without me to fill the silence, there’s no doubt it would continue indefinitely. It’s then I realize he uses it as a tool to intimidate. Yeah, that’s not gonna work anymore. I am ninety-nine percent sure he’s holding my beloved copy of Simply Sinful as hostage and I’m not freaking out about it anymore. I’m long past being intimidated.
“I thought you said all alcohol had to be removed from the premises?” I say, motioning to the glass he’s holding.
“I thought you said Dexter the Mormon lived on the property?”
Even in the dark, I can see his eyes spark with mischief. With the promise of great sex. The skin on my chest suddenly feels blowtorched, the heat headed south of my waist.
“Oops, busted.” The smile that spreads across my face spans from ear to ear. He returns the favor and smiles back. God help me, it’s so big and bright it blots out the stars. The heat spreads over my skin and licks the back of my neck.
He’s taken. Stop with the self-owns, my conscience reminds me, her delivery annoyingly smug and dry. Why does my conscience sound like Holland Taylor?
“You were gone all day…” he casually throws out. Like he hasn’t just admitted to keeping tabs on me.
Without thought, I cross the distance and sit in the chair next to his, the only thing separating us a tiny side table…and total ruin.