Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“No, thank you. I’ll take a shower, I’m beat.”
I go downstairs and make my tea. The rest of the family have gone to bed so I sit at the kitchen island counter for a while. I’m grappling with everything. My head is spinning.
Confusion.
Why am I feeling like this about him?
Why now, after all this time, does it feel different between us?
Did we have a moment at the airport?
I drop my head into my hands. I’m just so confused.
Fifteen minutes later, I go back up to bed to find the room in darkness, lit only by the lamps. Nathan is shirtless in bed. I can see every muscle in his torso and shoulders.
His big blue eyes meet mine across the room, and my stomach flutters.
What the fuck is going on?
“I’m going to take a shower.” I fake a smile.
With a racing heart, I put my hair up in a top bun and get under the water. I have it so hot that it tingles my skin.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
I shower and brush my teeth, and I put on the pretty pink nightdress that Nathan’s parents bought me for Christmas before I walk out.
Nathan’s eyes lift from his book, and he watches me get into bed.
I wonder has he turned the page yet?
I get in and pull the blankets up. Nathan rolls onto his side toward me and leans up onto his elbow.
We stare at each other, and something hangs in the air between us.
Longing…
I’m longing for him to touch me again, and I want to stand up and take off my nightdress.
I want him to see me. I want him to want me.
Where the fuck is this coming from?
Nathan’s dark eyes drink me in. His stare is hungry, wanting, and eventually he whispers, “Have you ever wanted something so badly that you can taste it?”
Goosebumps scatter up the back of my neck.
“Like you might just fucking die, if you don’t get it,” he breathes.
My heart begins to race.
What’s he talking about?
I stay silent.
He cups my face in his hand and stares down at me. His thumb dusts over my bottom lip for the second time tonight, and my heart feels like it stops.
“Say something,” he whispers.
My eyes search his, but I have no words. I have to be reading this wrong.
He doesn’t like women.
“What do you want me to say?” I whisper.
He stares at me for a moment, and then his brow furrows. Without another word, he flops back onto his pillow and exhales heavily. “Don’t worry about it.”
We stay silent for a few minutes until, eventually, he rolls over and turns his back to me.
I watch him, unsure what to say. You could cut the air between us with a knife. It’s thick with tension, filled with angst.
“Goodnight, Eliza.” He sighs.
I close my eyes in regret. I don’t know what he wanted me to say, but I obviously didn’t get it right.
“Goodnight, Nathan.”
9
Eliza
There’s a knock at the door.
I frown as I try to focus my eyes. “Hello?” I call.
The door opens, and Neil comes into view. “Ready for our walk, Eliza?”
I smile. “Sure am.” It’s our little ritual when I’m here. Neil gives me the walking tour around the property and shows me all the baby animals that have been born since I was here last. I glance over and notice Nathan isn’t in bed with me.
“Give me a minute to get dressed, I’ll be right down.” I smile.
“Sure thing. I’ll put the coffee on.” He disappears down the stairs, and I get up and peer into the bathroom. “Nathe?”
He’s not here. I open the door and look down the hallway, left and right. It’s still nearly dark. Where would he go?
I walk down the hallway and notice a bedroom door is closed. I slowly open the door and peek in.
Nathan is asleep in the bed.
My heart drops. He didn’t want to sleep with me.
I quietly close the door and tiptoe back down the hall to sit on the edge of my bed in the semi-dark room. I drop my head in sadness.
He didn’t want to sleep with me.
Nathan
My mother’s laugh rings out through the house, and I stop on the spot and listen for a moment. She loves Eliza. Both her and Dad beam with happiness when she is home.
Home. What a joke. This isn’t her home, this is my home, and she’s not my girlfriend. I need to stop this fucking nonsense before I drive her away forever.
I walk to the doorway of the kitchen and lean on the doorjamb as I watch them.
Eliza is wearing an apron that my mother bought her for her birthday one year. She’s chopping up vegetables and smiling as she talks.
“Yes, you wouldn’t believe the things that people get fixed. The other day, someone had their labia cut off. Well, trimmed, actually.”