Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
We could literally have it all.
I tip my head back and drain my glass.
But this could also be a disaster waiting to happen.
Just drop it.
Eliza
I lie on the couch and hold the remote up to turn off the television. I glance at my phone. It’s 11:50 p.m. I’m beat. I’ve been waiting up for Nathan.
He said he was working late but this is really late. I hope everything’s okay. I keep going over last night and the way we were with each other—the intimacy between us.
Brooke’s words from Saturday night keep coming back to me.
Why do you think Nathan has a bachelor pad?
Is he having sex with someone right now?
Uneasiness fills me, and I frown at the notion. I climb from the couch and drag myself into the bathroom. I stare at my reflection as I clean my teeth.
I’m rattled about what happened between us, trying to decipher if this is all in my head. I’m unusually clingy. I feel close to him, and yet, miles away. I hate that he’s not here. I can’t fall asleep without his hand on my behind.
I shouldn’t depend on him so much… or at all actually.
One day he’s going to meet someone and never come back and where will that leave you?
The thought of him leaving and never coming back makes me feel sick to my stomach.
Oh God, this situation is worse than I thought. The girls are right; I need to get over myself.
I must be imagining this entire thing, nothing happened between us last night.
It was a figment of my imagination, I’m horny and I’m lonely and perhaps by me making the realisation that I am in a rut and have given up on men, it’s making me cling onto him. Of course, that’s it. The girls are right, this is all just a mix up of feelings, nothing more and nothing less. The sooner I go on a date with someone the better. I’m way too dependent on Nathan.
Although, I can’t even admit this to myself properly but I feel like I might have feelings for him. But that’s ridiculous.
It’s just because I’m lonely and I want to feel loved.
And I know that Nathan loves me even though it’s not the same kind of love.
I’m mixing it up and getting all confused.
It doesn’t mean anything.
As soon as I start dating I can stop imagining all this business between him and me. It’s all in my head. He would be horrified if he knew what I was thinking.
I turn off the light and climb into bed to lie in the darkness for a while. My mind is spinning at a million miles per hour.
Where is he now?
He’s never this late. Maybe he isn’t coming over tonight.
That’s okay—he doesn’t have to—he’s not my boyfriend or anything.
I toss and turn, and I punch my pillow, annoyed that it bothers me. Half an hour later, I hear the key turn in the door, and relief fills me.
He’s here.
Now, I’ll finally get some sleep.
I hear his keys go onto the sideboard and then the shower run. A few moments later, Nathan walks into the bedroom with a white towel around his waist.
“Hi.” I smile up at him.
“Hi.”
“You’re home late.”
He sits down beside me on the edge of the bed. “Yeah.” He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear, and we stare at each other, despite the darkness.
The air between us feels weird again. There’s a spark… a crackle. Something’s different.
What the fuck is it?
His dark eyes hold mine and he rubs his thumb over my cheekbone as he studies me.
I feel like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t.
I put my hand over his against my cheek. “Nathan, what is it?”
“Nothing.” He gets up in a rush and snatches his boxer shorts. Then, he storms into the bathroom to get changed.
I lie in the darkness with questions buzzing through my brain. I can’t hold my tongue any longer. There shouldn’t be any secrets between us. We are just friends. Moments later, he comes back into the room and switches his bedside lamp on.
“Why are you so late?” I ask.
“I had something going on.” He gets into bed and picks up his book from the nightstand.
“Oh.” I look over at him as he turns the page. “Like what?”
He lies on his side toward me and flicks through the pages to get to the place where he left off.
“What did you have going on?” I repeat when he doesn’t answer.
“I was working.”
“Oh.” I roll over toward him and watch him for a moment. “I thought you must have had a date.”
His eyes lift over his book to meet mine, and then he raises his eyebrow before his attention goes back to his book.
“Are you seeing anyone?” I ask.
“What?” He frowns as if I’m a major inconvenience.