Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“No, I didn’t.”
“Oh, what, you waited a few weeks?”
“That was a long time not telling you, Lize.”
“Anyway, my point is that once we were together and in love—and I do know that you loved me—it was full speed ahead. But I also knew that you wouldn’t leave me, and that, even if you had feelings for Robert, you would never have left me for him. That’s not the kind of person you are.”
His brow furrows as we stare at each other.
“I wanted to give you a choice, Nathan.”
“Why?” He whispers.
“Because ten years being your best friend has taught me one thing: your happiness was more important to me than our relationship.” I get a lump in my throat. “I could never let you give up your happiness for mine. I loved you too much for that.”
He drops his head.
“And then you wouldn’t talk to me when I was terrified that I was pregnant.”
He closes his eyes in regret.
I squeeze his hand. “It’s okay, Nathan. I understand.”
His eyes shoot back up to mine. “You understand what?”
“I know why you had to force me to leave you.”
“Eliza, I never meant to make you leave me. Just the opposite.” He pauses for a moment as he collects his thoughts. “When Jolie said those things to me… ” His voice trails off.
“What?” I prompt him to continue.
“I don’t know.” He shakes his head as if unable to articulate himself. “Something happened.”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t shut you out because I wanted Robert. I was devastated by you. I wasn’t able to….” He cuts himself off.
I squeeze his hand in mine. “What Nathe?”
“How could you think that I would use you for children?” His eyes search mine. “How could you possibly think that? You know me. Better than anyone else, you know me.”
Oh God, he’s still hurt about this.
He clenches his jaw. “I couldn’t get my head around it, Eliza. I still can’t. It was the most hurtful thing that anyone has ever thought of me.”
Guilt fills me. “Nathe, I knew that deep down. I was looking for a reason. I wasn’t afraid of you. I was afraid of me. I knew that I wouldn’t be okay if we didn’t work out. And I was right, I wasn’t.”
We stare at each other, and deep regret swirls between us. He dusts his thumb back and forth over the back of my hand. “So, you’re with Morgan now?”
“No.” I roll my eyes. “Tonight, was the first time I’ve seen him since I left. You’re with Robert?” I ask.
“I’m not with Robert!” he snaps, annoyed. “How many times do I have to fucking tell you that?”
“But you’ve been with Robert?”
“Not physically, no. I’ve seen him but not how you think.”
“What does that mean?”
“Ibiza was a nightmare. We were never going to work if we got back together. That was done ten years ago. And besides, we fight every time we see each other now.”
“Why?”
“Because he came to our home to upset you and it worked. You left me.”
“What about Stephanie?”
“I haven’t touched either of them, I swear on my mother’s life,” he growls in frustration.
“Who have you been with?” I know I shouldn’t ask but the masochist in me wants some pain.
“You don’t want to know the answer to that question.” His eyes hold mine.
That means a lot of people.
I get a lump in my throat and drop my head. This is why we can’t be together.
I’m weak as fuck when he’s around.
He cups my cheek in his hand and brings my face up to his. “But it cemented something for me.”
His eyes search mine.
“It’s you Eliza. It’s always been you. And I know that my love for you started out platonic, but you have owned me since the day we met.”
We stare at each other and, God, I want to take back the last six months. I want to throw myself into his arms and kiss and make up.
But I need to have some backbone and stand up for myself. “What are you saying, Nathan?”
“I love you. I will always love you.”
I stare at him.
“I want us to try again.”
“No.” I shake my head, the hurt all still too raw to even contemplate it. “I can’t.”
“Why not?’
“Because I can’t depend on you like I did. It’s not healthy to be as we were, and of course, we failed. It was a car crash waiting to happen. We know each other too well, Nathan.”
“That’s impossible.”
“I don’t want to get back together.”
He frowns, and I see a glimmer of his temper hovering just below the surface. “You can’t know each other too well.” He spits. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I want to be friends,” I announce. “I’m moving back to San Francisco next week.”
“You’re moving home?” he asks hopefully.
“No, I’ve got my own apartment.”
He sits back in his seat, affronted. “Well, this is nice, isn’t it?”