Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
I understand why—you didn’t want to hurt me by leaving. That’s not who you are.
Nathan, my darling, I’m giving you the time you deserve.
I love you so much—I love you more than life itself—and I could never keep you held to me, knowing that your heart is aching for someone else.
As your best friend, I need to sacrifice my happiness for yours.
Hopefully, we will find a way back to each other and you will come to me in New York.
I will wait for you. I will love you from across the country and pray that you return to me.
But I understand if you can’t, and I wish you all the happiness you deserve.
Please remember how much you are loved, and make the decision that is right for you.
I’ll be okay.
Always,
Eliza
xoxo
* * *
“Last call for flight 756 to New York.”
I sit in the boarding lounge of the airport. I’ve been here for five hours. I couldn’t sit and wait in that apartment a moment longer.
Nathan hasn’t been home for three days. I guess, if I was questioning whether I was doing the right thing, Nathan has answered me, loud and clear.
He wanted me to stay and fight for us, but there are two people in a fight and I can’t do this alone.
I wouldn’t want to.
He needs to show up, too. He needs to see where I am coming from, and that shutting down on me isn’t the answer.
Now, on reflection, I get his point. I see what he is upset about. But he’s wrong thinking that this is all in my head. I was there. I saw it with my own eyes how upset he was when Robert came to him, and I know he doesn’t understand any of this now, but hopefully, in time, he will.
Our love was too fast, too passionate, and too blinding with its beauty.
I smile sadly. Boy, was it beautiful. Nathan and I together, when things were going good, was a fairy tale.
It doesn’t get any better than what we had, and if he can throw it away so easily without even showing up for the fight then I guess I did us all a favor by leaving.
“Last call for flight 756 to New York,” sounds over the intercom once more and I exhale heavily.
It doesn’t make it hurt less.
I want the happy ending. I want the fairy tale where he runs through the airport to stop me from leaving. I glance up in the hope of seeing him. I long to see him frantically running to stop me from ruining everything.
But he’s not here.
He hasn’t been here since Robert came. Maybe even before that.
He checked out on me when I needed him to stand up and tell me what I had done wrong.
And he said that I had a prejudice. But maybe the complex is his, not mine.
I’m not saying I’m in the right, but any woman who found out that their partner had spoken to his ex every day for ten years, and that he had always begged them to come back to him, would be rattled. Add to that, the ex came back professing his love, and the boyfriend has hardly spoken two words to you since. It’s not rocket science.
I am doing the right thing.
We need space. We need time.
I need him.
My eyes fill with tears.
“Last call for flight 756 to New York,” repeats over the intercom.
I stand, and with one last longing look over San Francisco airport, I drag myself on the plane. It feels like my world is ending, and maybe it is.
Maybe this is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever done.
He didn’t come.
* * *
The text comes through from Jolie, and I scroll through the selections she’s sent to me:
Furnished apartments.
One bedroom, furnished, great location.
Week to week, no lease.
And btw, Santiago is a prick.
Had a gangbang last night with four girls.
He’s gone.
I smirk, thank God, that’s over. I mark it down to go and look at it. I don’t want to be locked into anything long term.
I’m in a café, and I’ve been in New York for three days. I’m staying at a hotel. I don’t start work until next week but I just had to get out of San Fran… away from him.
The dust has settled, and the tears have stopped. I’m getting angry now.
How could he do this to me?
I thought after he read the letter that things would work out, or I would at least hear from him for closure. I was sure the letter explained everything: my thoughts and hopes and dreams for us. My undying love for him and how much I cherished what we had.
I thought he would have called, if not as a lover, but as the best friend he’s always been. Nathan has always been my biggest supporter, the friend who loved me through anything.