Total pages in book: 220
Estimated words: 212755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1064(@200wpm)___ 851(@250wpm)___ 709(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 212755 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1064(@200wpm)___ 851(@250wpm)___ 709(@300wpm)
“I’m dying. The other day he was flirting with the pizza delivery girl and I just about melted.” He sighed again. “Can someone die of an erection that won’t go away?”
I was a terrible person, but his drama only made me laugh even more. “Not that I know of, but from all those stupid commercials for dick pills, I can tell you what the condition is called.”
“Asshole.”
“Only when I get to tease you.” I chuckled. “So the problem is that your sexy flirt…I’m assuming he’s sexy based on your rambling…but he’s just teasing and walking away? Do you actually want a relationship with him or are you horny? Those are two different things.”
“Um…both.” I managed not to laugh as he sighed and answered…well, almost. “Really, both.”
“Is there intention when he’s flirting or is it just casual?” Even I knew there was a big difference between the two.
“I don’t know…I’ve never met anyone like him, though.” That wasn’t helpful at all, so I was glad when he kept going. “He’s…my grandmother would have called him brash and a scoundrel.”
Was that a bad thing?
“He’s…” Archer groaned, still drowning in drama. “He makes me squirm and blush just by leering at me…and he does that a lot. I was bent over looking for something under the couch yesterday and he stopped right behind me and said it was a great view.”
Oh god.
That was so perfect for my dirty friend, and I couldn’t stop laughing as I pictured the scene.
Even without having met his sexy new roommate, I knew the guy had to be thoroughly enjoying fucking with Archer.
He finally broke in, frustrated and still just as funny. “Stop that. When I turned around, I was hard and looked ridiculous and he was giving me that dirty leer before pointing at the window that looks out over the backyard.”
He took a breath, but he didn’t get any calmer. “Then he grinned and said I had a great back…yard. He paused between the words. Honest. He paused.”
He was so nuts and so confused, I couldn’t stop laughing.
“Okay…” But I was a good friend and once I took another deep breath, I’d be able to help. Hopefully. “I think we can safely say he’s at least interested in you. But does he talk to you about other stuff? I mean, it’s not just all dirty shit, right?”
He was quiet for several long moments and I imagined him shrugging. “We talk. He asks about work and he tells me about his classes. It’s not deep stuff, but it's more than most dates I’ve been on.”
Now it was my turn to think, and I decided to start with the obvious. “These are going to sound like stupid questions, but he knows you’re gay, right? And he knows that you’re into kinky shit? I mean, you don’t have to spell it out that you want to hump his leg and beg to come, but he knows you’re at least open-minded, right?”
“Um…maybe?” His tone was too hesitant for me to be confident about the answer. “Announcing I’m kinky doesn’t exactly come up in most conversations, Bishop. Unlike some people I know.”
I scoffed. “It’s an ice breaker. What can I say?”
And leaving it until later wasn’t helpful either.
I’d rather know right off the bat if it was going to be an issue.
But I decided not to point out the logic since I wasn’t sure he would listen at this point. “But did you at least hint at it or talk about an ex-boyfriend or something?”
“No.” He paused again, clearly thinking as he seemed to be flopping around. “But the ad said I was LGBT friendly.”
That nonsense just had me rolling my eyes. “That doesn’t help, Archer. Hell, it's too common these days. He might think you’re just skittish or in the closet.”
“Oh. Do you think announcing I’m gay might be helpful?”
Like over dinner?
When he was ass-up looking under the couch?
Just imagining how that would go had me snickering.
“You’re not being helpful here.” He sighed, drama dripping from the sound as I laughed. “Well? What do I do?”
Okay, he needed a plan. “I think there’s a better way to let him know you’re gay and kinky without announcing it randomly in your kitchen, for one thing.”
Thinking it through, I tried to come up with a reasonable way to do it where he wouldn’t look nuts. “How about you go out on a date or something so when he asks where you're going, then you can tell him about the guy? Then maybe after the date, you complain about him being vanilla or something like that.”
Archer’s groan said he wasn’t sure that would work. “That might work, but dates are always so painful. Isn’t there an easier way of handling this? I’m not really a masochist.”
Just as I was ready to point out that he was kind of a verbal masochist, someone coughed.