Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76396 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 382(@200wpm)___ 306(@250wpm)___ 255(@300wpm)
“Can you tell me...when did you see me? How long ago?”
“It was right at the beginning, before you got sold. You were in my boyfriend’s uncles house. I was looking for information for my father...Shanks.”
It was at the beginning.
So, if I can vaguely remember seeing her, how come I can’t remember what happened right before? And how come everything after is a blur until I’m sold? Why are my memories such a mess? Such a jumbled mess. Was I drugged so heavily that I can’t differentiate reality from a nightmare? Did they hit me one too many times?
Why. Can’t. I. Remember.
“How can I remember that, but I can’t remember my life before that?”
I close my eyes.
Erin puts her hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay, honey. You’re overwhelmed. It’s normal. Come on, sit down.”
She leads me to a table and I sit, all the girls sit down, too. I stare at them, and they all look so friendly, and yet so concerned. Like they’re all imagining what my life must be like, and how it must feel. I don’t blame them. I supposed I’d be curious, too. After all, it isn’t every day you meet someone like me.
Someone so pathetically broken.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, feeling ashamed that I got so angry.
I don’t know Charlie’s story, hell, I don’t know what she’s been through. And me, out of everyone, should know that sometimes your path leads you in a whole different direction and because of that, you find yourself doing things you really never thought you could. I can’t blame her for what happened to me.
Honestly, I don’t really know who to blame.
“Don’t be sorry,” Charlie says, “I should be sorry. I could have done more back then, but I guess, I don’t know...I guess I was so afraid. I didn’t know what the best thing was back then, hell, I made a lot of mistakes, but know this, Ellie, letting you go without reacting quicker, was my biggest regret.”
“It’s okay,” I say, trying to smile, but my bottom lip trembles.
“Look,” Scarlett says, jumping in, her smile bright and comforting. “We’re having a cookout tonight, at the club. All the families get together, it’s a great way to get to know people, to get to know the club that Slater is part of. Also, so everyone can meet you. You should come along, if you’re comfortable, of course. Please, no pressure if you aren’t. But, we’d love to get to know you better, and I’m sure you’d love some company.”
I look to Erin, who is smiling at Scarlett, still star struck.
I can’t hide forever, I know that, but the thought of facing an entire club scares me, almost as much as hiding forever. But, I need to move on with my life, I need to try and get out there, to move past the horrors that live inside my head. I promised my therapist I’d spend more time getting out and meeting people. She thinks it’s really important for my social development, but also for my healing.
“Can Erin come?” I ask Scarlett.
“Duh! Of course she can!”
I glance at Erin again. “What do you think?”
Erin smiles at me. “It’s up to you, honey. But I’m there if you want me there, I have nothing on tonight.”
I swallow, and look back to Scarlett. “And Slater?”
“Slater cares a great deal about you, Ellie, but mostly he respects you. He’s not going to do anything you don’t want him to do. I know that much.”
She’s right.
And part of me, just a little part, kind of wants to see him again.
“Okay, we’ll come.”
“Wonderful,” Scarlett claps. “We’ll let you get back to work, but let’s swap numbers and I’ll text you the details.”
“Oh my lord, you’re swapping numbers with Scarlett!!” Erin cries. “Can I swap numbers too?”
Scarlett laughs. “Of course.”
We all swap numbers, and Charlie walks over to me, just before they leave. “If you need anything, anything at all...please...it’s the least I can do.”
I can see it in her eyes, that she’s beating herself up over what happened, and I don’t want that for her. It isn’t her fault. She needs to know that.
“Charlie?” I say, just as she’s turning to walk away.
She stops and looks at me.
“For what it’s worth, it isn’t your fault and I don’t blame you. I hope you know that.”
She smiles. “Thank you, that means a lot.”
“See you tonight.”
When they’re all gone, I turn and face Erin. “Tell me I’m doing the right thing...”
She smiles. “You know how protective I am of you, if I thought they meant you any harm, I’d pull you back. But honestly, if we’re being completely open, I have a feeling they’re exactly what you need. More friends, but also closure. Slater is your closer, and he can give you answers nobody else can. I was skeptical at first, but after listening to him the other night, I’m starting to think he only has your best interest at heart, regardless of the fact that he’s desperate for you to remember, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. That much is clear.”