Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 90503 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90503 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 453(@200wpm)___ 362(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
“That sounds good. I haven’t eaten yet today.” My stomach was feeling a little better, and food actually sounded good.
“I’ll fix you a plate. You can take your things upstairs. You remember where the guest room is?”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
Upstairs in the guest room, I dug my swimsuit and the kids’ gifts out of my bag. The Tigers merchandise reminded me of being at the game with Maren, and a pit opened inside me. How was she today? I’d had no calls or messages from her, which surprised me. Was she too hurt and angry? Or was she trying to forget me already?
It doesn’t matter. A clean break, remember?
I did my best to put her out of my mind and spent the afternoon with Bree and the kids, who loved their Tigers gear and had fun showing off their swimming and diving skills. I dazzled them all (plus some other neighborhood urchins) with my backflip and thunderous cannonball off the diving board, participated in underwater tea parties, diving for pennies, and about a million games of Marco Polo.
For dinner, I grilled cheeseburgers and hot dogs, and Bree brought out corn on the cob and broccoli salad, which the kids complained about but ate after their mother told them there would be no ice cream if they didn’t.
Finn arrived home while we were eating on the patio, kissed his wife hello, ruffled each of the kids’ wet heads, and offered me his hand. I thought for sure he’d make a comment about my ignoring his texts or failing to let them know when I would arrive, but he didn’t. “Glad you made it,” he said.
“Thanks.”
He changed clothes and joined us at the table, and I found myself looking at him differently as I watched him interact with his family. I wasn’t sure why. Was it because I knew he was seeing a therapist? Or because I kept waiting for him to harangue me about the surgery and he wasn’t? Was he different somehow, maybe a little less intense and more relaxed? Was it because I knew he was interested in mending our relationship, maybe hearing me out before he dismissed my side of things as irrational or foolish or reckless?
Whatever it was, it helped to put me at ease. I didn’t feel as on guard or defensive as I usually did around him. I liked watching him with his wife and kids, and for the first time, I envied what he had. Home. Family. Security. Belonging. I felt a part of it too, which was nice, but it wasn’t mine. It never would be.
Later, after the ice cream had been eaten and the dishes were cleared and the kids had been dragged off to the bathtub by Bree, Finn asked if I wanted to have a beer with him out by the pool.
I hesitated. “The meds.”
“No pressure, but I think one beer is okay.”
“Okay, then. I’ll have one with you.” I was feeling better than I had this morning, at least physically.
Finn brought out two uncapped bottles and handed one to me, and we stretched out in two adjacent deck chairs. The sky was streaked with pink and orange, and the crickets were chirping noisily. From an upstairs window I heard Lane protest, “But I don’t need to wash my hair! I washed it three days ago!”
Finn chuckled. “That kid never wants to wash his hair.”
I smiled, tipping up my beer. “They’re getting so big.”
“They are. And I’m getting old.”
But you’re lucky, Finn. So fucking lucky.
He drank too. “Nervous about tomorrow?”
“Should I be?” I looked over at him.
He shrugged. His shoulders were less broad than mine, but we had similar builds and coloring, although he wore his hair shorter and was slightly thicker through the middle. “I don’t think there will be any surprises. He’ll just go over the surgery with you.”
I nodded, and we were both silent for a minute.
“I want to ask you what you’re thinking, but I don’t want to pressure you.”
“You can ask. I don’t have an answer, though.”
“Fair enough.” He paused. Drank. “How was your weekend in Detroit?”
I crossed my ankles. “Fine.”
“You said you saw Maren Devine?”
“I did.”
“How was that?”
“It was…” The muscles in my lower body clenched. “Interesting.”
“Oh? Care to elaborate?”
I sipped my beer and gave it some thought. Fuck it. Might as well. “I went there to apologize for leaving without saying goodbye when Mom and Dad sent me away. It was a shitty thing to do to her, and I only did it because I was embarrassed. I hadn’t talked to her since and always felt bad.”
“So you wanted her forgiveness?”
“Yeah.”
Finn nodded slowly, and I knew he understood why I’d gone. “What did she say?”
“She was pretty frosty at first, but she warmed up eventually. Said she forgave me.” I started peeling the label off the beer bottle. “I asked to take her to dinner that night, and she said yes. We had a nice time.”