Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
I hissed, fed him my erection, pumped into his mouth until I spilled my load down his pretty throat. We changed places, and he fucked my face next, spilling his release deep in my gut.
This time, we sat down together, Sam’s head on my shoulder. “The farmers’ market is tomorrow,” I said.
“Yep.”
“I need to meet Lydia. I have food to donate.”
And we wouldn’t be going there together. That was something we both understood. Even if I wanted to, Sam couldn’t. People would notice the two of us there, would wonder about our friendship. It would make them keep an eye on him more closely.
“Me and Molly should probably make an appearance together too. I’m supposed to be at her place every weekend, yet we’re never out and about together.”
My chest deflated, disappointment I had no business feeling flooding me.
“Can I come back after, though? We don’t gotta stay long.”
“Yeah, you can come back after.”
And somehow, that helped.
We’d left my house this morning at the same time but in separate cars. Sam headed home to see if he could get his mom to go, then to Molly’s house to pick her up for the market. I’d followed my usual routine when I arrived, going to Lydia’s stand and then to her vehicle with her to drop everything off. She chatted the way she always did, mentioned how they were needing more animals at the farm and that donation dollars were running low. We’d just finished packing it away when I asked, “I have a friend with a loved one who’s an alcoholic. I wanted to see if you had any resources, or ways to help, or knew of quality programs in the area.”
Sam’s personal life wasn’t supposed to be my concern. Plus, I wasn’t even sure what I might be able to do with the information Lydia gave me. His mom had been in rehab before. He’d spoken with her about attending therapy and AA again. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to know.
“Sure. I can wrangle you up some information. There’re local AA meetings. The hard part with programs right now is lack of resources. Many of them don’t have the funds they need and are at capacity, with waitlists. The sad reality of the situation is that sometimes people want help but can’t find it. North Carolina is struggling at the moment with helping all the people who need it. I’m not saying it’s hopeless, so please don’t take it that way. It’s just an uphill battle in more ways than one. And do they have insurance? Or the ability to pay? And are they willing to travel out of the state? That opens up the field some.”
“I don’t know about traveling or insurance, but money won’t be an issue.” Sam wouldn’t like it, but I thought he’d be willing to let me pay if it meant getting his mom the help she needed. It sounded like she had some pretty heavy-duty depression on top of her addiction.
Lydia smiled at me, reached over and squeezed my hand. “You’re a good man, Emerson.”
Uncomfortable with the attention and wondering how she knew my response meant I would pay, I took a step backward. “Thanks.”
“I’ll put some stuff together and email it to you.”
I thanked her again, we went our separate ways, but unlike I usually would, I didn’t head straight back to my car to leave. I walked up and down the rows of booths, looked at local crafts and freshly grown food. I could feel people’s eyes on me, their surprise at seeing me out this way, likely wondering what I was doing or what I was hiding, gossiping about me as I went by.
I wondered if Sam’s mom was there with him. If he’d managed to talk her into coming. I understood her urge to hide—I’d been doing that same thing for years—and how the thought of people or the world around us exhausted her, made her feel lost. I could relate.
It was a good half an hour later when I saw him. I didn’t know what his mom looked like, but I saw Molly there. They were at the next stand over. He held homemade soap in his hand, and she leaned in to smell it. She shook her head, and he set it down before grabbing a container of…lotion, maybe?
I should turn away, be on my way because the discomfort inside me watching them together wasn’t a good sign at all, but I couldn’t force myself to do it.
This time when she sniffed it, Sam pressed forward some. Molly jerked back with white cream on the tip of her nose. They laughed, and she swatted his arm, my chest hollowing out more with each passing second.
I wondered what it would feel like to be teased by him in public that way. To laugh and joke with him and to feel that real kind of happiness deep in my bones. Not to keep myself closed off or to see my only worth as what I could accomplish, but to just want the simple things in life the way Sam did. To feel content, to find beauty in the everyday, despite the ugliness.