Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
“No, thank you. I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m going to feed the animals, then head to my room early and get some rest.” It was a lie. I was fairly certain he knew it too. Well, I didn’t sleep for shit, that part was true, but it was too early to get rest. I just needed some time to myself. After being alone for years, I didn’t know how to be in the same space with anyone for this long. Talking while I cooked and eating together already felt too close, too stifling, like he was going to find out my secrets and turn on me, which I’d deserve. “You have free rein of the house, the food. Watch whatever you want.”
It was hitting home just how ridiculous this whole idea was. I was paying him to sit around my house all weekend? But I didn’t call it off, didn’t tell him he could go home either. How I could simultaneously want and not want to be alone, I didn’t know, but it was how I felt.
“Oh…okay. You should get your sleep. I’ll take care of the dishes and stuff.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem. Night, Emerson.”
“Good night, Sam.”
I couldn’t sleep, knew if I closed my eyes, I’d just see blood on my hands or visions of myself draining the life out of Daniel. Because in my nightmares, it was me. Always me.
It was 4:32 in the morning when I went to the spare bedroom. Sam had slept with the door open—an invitation for me, no doubt. That was the whole reason he was there, after all.
Moonlight filtered in through the window, a soft glow but strong enough that I could make out his features. “Sam?” I said softly, standing beside the bed. He stirred, his eyes fluttering open.
“Yes,” he replied to my unspoken question, and shoved the blanket off, showing me he was naked beneath.
My body buzzed with so much want, I thought I would break apart. I shoved my boxer briefs down my thighs. With my hand at the base of my erection, I angled it toward him. Sam didn’t need my words to know what I wanted from him. He grinned in that way he did that made it seem like he didn’t have any problems, which I knew couldn’t be true, but it was so genuine that it was hard to imagine anything bad in his world.
He leaned forward, rolling to his stomach but toward the side of the bed. Sam licked his lips before kissing the tip of my dick. Precum had already pearled at the tip, but now sat on his lips until he used his tongue to wipe it away. “I really love this,” he said softly. “You should have seen me the first time I sucked a cock. You woulda thought someone handed me everything I’d ever wanted.” He kissed my balls next, like this really was a treasure to him. “Made me feel…”
“What?” I found myself asking. It shouldn’t matter. We weren’t supposed to be getting to know each other, but the buzzing beneath my skin wouldn’t settle unless I knew.
“Like me. I mean, bein’ queer is about more than sex and body parts. I get that.” He rooted his nose around in the hair at my groin. “I was gay before sex and would be without sex, but…it woke up parts of me I didn’t think I’d ever be able to set free. Parts of me that I wanted but didn’t think I’d ever have. All I wanted to do was suck dick over and over and over just to hold on to that feeling of bein’ me, takin’ what I wanted and bein’ able to have pleasure because why should wantin’ men mean I didn’t get pleasure?”
I hissed when he snaked his tongue around my glans. He hadn’t even done much yet, but somehow this felt like the best blowjob I’d ever had. Like his honesty and openness, how much he really loved this, made it a million times better.
“I remember in school, kids would call someone a cocksucker because that was a bad thing to them. It was to me too until I did it, and then I was just like…fuck yeah. I’m a cocksucker and I love it, and I damn sure planned to be the best cocksucker I could be.”
He looked up at me and winked. It was so cute and ridiculous that I had to let myself smile.
His gaze didn’t part from mine, a spark in the air holding them together while Sam opened his mouth and slowly swallowed my dick down inch after inch.
I touched his cheek, guided him, not that he needed my help. Sam adjusted around me, kept going until my prick was in his throat, his nose in my pubes, and when he swallowed around it, fireworks lit off deep in my gut. He pulled off some, then took me deep again. Over and over and over again, working my shaft with the wet suction of his skilled mouth.