Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 98134 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98134 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
I want this. It’s almost like the words are physical things in the air between us.
He touches my cheek and leans in close.
I lean in, too, pressing my lips to his. We kiss softly at first, then more intensely. His hand moves from my cheek to thread into my hair. His other hand falls to my knee. I touch his side and run my hand up his neck, gripping a handful of his silky hair.
I start to fall back as he kisses me deeper, arms planted on either side of me. I unfold my legs so his body positions between them and I can feel the hard shape of him between my legs, making my core throb with desire.
And then a car door slams outside.
We both sit up suddenly and I hit unpause on the movie. I scoot several feet away from Jesse and he straightens. I jerk my head to the side to see Jake coming in the house. “I forgot my–” he trails off, eyebrows wrinkling at the sight of us. He looks up at the screen, where one of the girls is covered in blood and screaming. “What the hell are you guys doing?”
“Watching a scary movie,” I say.
“Nothing,” Jesse says at the same moment.
Jake doesn’t move for several beats, then he finally goes to the kitchen. “Forgot to charge my phone. Do you have a charger in here somewhere?”
“The drawer by the knives,” Jesse says.
Jake opens it, roots around for a suspiciously long time, then stands in the kitchen and just stares openly at us. “Why are you both sitting so weird?”
“We’re not,” I say.
“Fuckin’ weird,” Jake finally mutters, almost to himself, and then he leaves through the front door.
We both let out a breath once we hear his car start up and drive off. It’s a testament to how distracted we were that we only realized he was outside when he slammed the door shut.
I pause the movie again.
“That was close.”
“It’s good he came. We can’t… That wasn’t a good idea.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
“I don’t know if I do. I’m single. You’re single. Yeah, my brother is overprotective and thinks he gets to say who I do or do not date, but so what? We’re all adults.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Because of her?”
He makes a non-committal grunting noise.
“Oh, interesting,” I say. “So you really think–” I mimic his grunting sound. “I was actually thinking–” I do a different variation of the grunt. “But if you think–” I grunt again.
He smiles. “Very funny. But not entirely because of her, no. Just kind of.”
“Do you still have feelings for her?” I ask.
“No,” he says quickly. “No,” he says again, shaking his head. “Some of the… scars are still too fresh. I’m not ready to say what I want, or to make promises about what I can offer.”
“Maybe I’m not, either.”
He looks up. “So you agree with me? We can’t let this happen again?”
“No,” I say. “I mean… who says we have to promise things? Can’t we just see where it goes? Stop acting like we don’t feel it.”
“That sounds dangerous.”
“It’s not like we’re nuclear bombs, Jesse. We’re just people. Worst case is we hurt each other's feelings, right? People survive that.”
He looks like he wants to argue with me, but he nods very slowly. “If I agreed with you, it would be under one condition.”
“I’m listening.”
“Nobody can know.”
I chew my lip. “I hate to break it to you, but I think we might be the last people to realize this was going to happen.”
He chuckles, but then frowns. “I still don’t want to talk to Jake about it. About–whatever ‘it’ would be.”
“Something casual,” I suggest.
“Casual,” he says slowly, as if he’s testing the concept aloud. “I think I could offer casual. Yeah.”
“And I can keep a secret. Even if everybody and their grandma already suspects we’re doing the dirty behind closed doors.
Jesse lets out a long sigh. “Okay. Yeah. Okay.”
“Does this mean I can cuddle you now?”
He bites back a smile. “Yeah. Come here.” I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. Confusion wrestles with contentment in my chest. I’m thinking about the kiss. I’m thinking about the fact that I ended a year-long relationship with a note last week and ran away from my wedding. And even if I don’t want to care, I’m also thinking about how mad Jake would be if he found out what we’re doing.
But right now, I decide that it can all happily find its way to the back of my mind for later. Right now, Jesse’s shoulder is the comfiest place in the world, and I plan to enjoy it.
16
JESSE
Andi is walking beside me down the main strip of Frosty Harbor. Ahead of us, the frozen over harbor is full of families ice skating while distant holiday music plays, echoing off into the mountains beyond the ice. Tourism is picking up, and I’m recognizing fewer and fewer people sharing the sidewalks with us.