Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 51525 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51525 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
“Talk to me.”
“No,” I retort, trying to get away, but it’s like I’m a mouse trying to push a boulder up a hill. Totally and utterly pointless.
“What’s never happened?” he repeats, and my already hard-beating heart starts to pound out of control. “What’s never happened?”
“I’ve never come that easily,” I snap. “Are you happy now?” I shove at his chest and buck my hips, but he doesn’t move, and it takes me a moment to register that his body has gone still above mine. Why did I admit that? I turn my head away and focus on the wall across the room, too embarrassed to look at him. “Please move off of me.”
“Bre.”
“Please,” I whisper desperately.
He moves, and I instantly scuttle away from him and sit back against the couch. Tucking my legs up against my chest, I wrap my arms around my shins, resting my forehead to my knees as I wonder what the hell is wrong with me.
“Baby.” His fingers slide through the hair at the side of my head. “What you just gave me was beautiful.” Tears fill my eyes and I shake my head. “So damn beautiful the way you let go for me.” He forces my head up with his hand under my chin, and his eyes search mine for a long moment before he moves away. I expect him to leave, but instead, he picks me up and settles me sideways on his lap. “You gotta know it’s not on you that you couldn’t get there with him.”
Oh my God. My heart sinks as guilt fills my stomach and crawls up the back of my throat.
“Stop,” I choke out.
“Baby, it’s okay,” he says soothingly, rubbing my back.
“I loved him,” I implore quietly, feeling defensive and needing him to know that my feelings for Gabe were real.
“That’s not in question,” he assures gently, running his thumb over my cheek.
“We were happy.”
“I know that too,” he agrees instantly, still talking gently.
God, why is he being so sweet? Why, when I need him to leave? “He… he was my first everything.”
His arms around me tighten, his jaw clenches, and his eyes flash, before he bites out, “Yeah, but he’s gone.”
That hurt, but not for the reasons it should have. It hurts, because I hurt him and did it on purpose. Without another word, he moves me off his lap. When I’m settled on the couch, he stands then leans over me, placing his fist in the cushions on either side of my hips. “I gotta work, so I’m gonna be gone a couple days.”
Heart sinking, I stare into his eyes, then stutter, “W-what?”
“I’ll call Lyra tomorrow night before she goes to bed.”
He leans in, and I think he’s going to place a kiss to my forehead, but at the last second, he pulls back. Then he’s gone, and I listen to the door close behind him. Chin wobbling, tears running down my cheeks, I stare at the space he just occupied, wondering why I said the things I did and why the hell I just let him walk away. Again.
Chapter 7
_______________
Denver
TAKING A PULL FROM THE BEER in my hand, I stare at the dark water at the edge of my boat. Bre’s words from earlier tonight keep whispering through my mind, reminding me what I am for her.
“Fuck,” I hiss into the night, pissed at myself for being in love with a woman who is still in love with another man. Jealousy isn’t something I like feeling, but that emotion has been living inside me for so long that I’ve become used to it.
Walking to the wheelhouse, I take a seat in my chair and sigh. I don’t have anywhere to be; I lied to Bre about that. I just needed to get away from her before I said something I might regret. I need a few days to think about what I should do. Not that it will really fucking matter. I’m starting to see she’s never going to be mine, that she will always be his, and as much as I love her, I know I can’t live with only having a part of her. I’m selfish. I want it all. I want all her love, all her heart, all her mind, body, and soul.
“Maybe it’s time to move the fuck on.” I rub my hand down my face then close my eyes when her scent that has seeped into my skin fills my nostrils. I shouldn’t feel smug that he was never able to give her what I did on her couch, but fuck if I do. And since I don’t have much else, I’m taking it.
Hearing a knock behind me, I turn in my chair toward the door then frown when I don’t see anyone through the small round window that’s about five and a half feet off the ground. I stand and swing the door open then look down. It takes a moment for me to realize what I’m seeing—who I’m seeing. Bre with her hair down, eyes and face red from crying, wearing her hoodie and a pair of jeans. And it’s then I notice a small black duffle bag over her shoulder.