Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
“I don’t know if I can ever stop,” I admitted.
This earned me a second smile. “You don’t ever have to.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Cyrus
One week turned into two, then three, and more that followed. Being on the mountain with Crow was like a dream. Every day with Crow felt better than the last, even the ones where I felt sad. There were a few days when my depression was so bad, I only got out of bed to go to the bathroom, and Crow didn’t make me feel bad about that. He didn’t have expectations of me, didn’t tell me it was a choice and that I should just snap out of it as though it were easy.
He just…brought me food to our bed.
Lay with me.
Let me relax between his legs with his dick in my mouth because cock-warming him made me feel settled…connected, in this way that wasn’t possible with anyone except him. The times I snapped at him, got frustrated with him for no reason, he didn’t yell at me about that either. When I’d told him I wanted to be alone, he’d nodded and did as I asked. I’d heard him pacing in the hallway, and though I hadn’t been able to draw it to my lips, I’d felt a smile deep inside.
But other than those few days, we’d just…been together. February had arrived too quickly. It felt like I’d just moved up the mountain with him.
We fucked a lot, Crow always behind me, railing into me, reminding me I was his. We played cards and watched shows. We started to work on the truck, but it was cold, and being outside too long wasn’t something we did a lot of. Crow was always worried about safety and being careful. I didn’t know if that was just for me, or if he was the same when I wasn’t there. But he’d taken me out to ride the snowmobile a couple of times. I was still shit at it, and I could tell it made him nervous, but I was getting a little better.
Sometimes I would bundle up on the porch and watch him use the snowplow. Next year I’d have him teach me how to use that. I wanted to be able to do everything Crow was able to do on this mountain, wanted to love it and take care of it the way he did. When he disappeared into his room in the shop was when I usually called Melody, the two of us sometimes chatting for hours.
And the kissing, Christ, all the kissing. It was as if Crow had decided to make up for a lifetime without it and could hardly keep his mouth from mine. He was obsessed with it, and I loved the thought of him being obsessed with me in any and every way.
My Christmas tree was still on the wall. I’d wondered if he would paint over it, but Crow kept it up, and I didn’t mention it. Seeing it made me happy, made me feel loved.
He still didn’t say the words, but I didn’t need him to—not most of the time. I felt it in everything he did, how he treated me and the way he looked at me. Unfortunately, I was still me, and my depression tried to smother my happiness sometimes, telling me he’d eventually tire of me, that he didn’t really want me, that I was a hole to him, and that one day I would fuck it up and lose him. I tried so hard not to let those words in, but it was difficult not to when they were spoken in my voice, always in my head, waiting to attack.
Crow was sleeping now. He was doing much better at getting rest while we were in bed together. He still woke easily, and I had no doubt that the second I moved, he would stir, but still, I worked my way down his body, tossing the blankets away as I went.
I looked up at him from between his thighs to see him staring down at me with a cocked brow. “What do you want to do today?” I pressed a soft kiss to his sac. “We can stay in bed all day.” I nuzzled beneath his balls because the musky scent of him was one of my favorite things.
Crow didn’t respond, something I was used to by now. He just ran his fingers through my hair.
“I could keep your cock between my lips the whole time.” I sucked him, felt him begin to harden against my tongue. I let him fall out so I could say, “We can have another snowball fight…or we can play some games online…” It was something I’d started to do on Crow’s laptop. He would watch, and then he started helping me with moves and then playing them himself. “You can read to me…or I can read to you.”