Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84533 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 338(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
I chatted off and on as Crow cooked, not wanting to bother him too much. When the food was ready, he piled a bunch on a plate and gave it to me before filling a glass of orange juice. “You’re good at spoiling people. I’m warning you now, if you keep doing it, I’ll keep accepting it. I’m learning real quick that I enjoy being spoiled.” His brows drew together, and somehow I knew he was asking about my mom. “Sometimes. She tried real hard, but drugs didn’t always make it possible. She never abused me or was mean to me when she was high, but when she needed drugs, she was selfish and that was all that mattered. But she loved me. And she was a good mom. She just had a disease.”
I didn’t want anyone to ever think badly of her.
Crow nodded, and damn, did I appreciate it.
He made his plate, then stood on the other side of the counter while we ate. When we finished, he took my plate, and then for the first time since we’d woken up, he spoke. “Be right back.”
It was my turn to nod as he went to the door, put on boots and his coat. I sat there waiting, but it was only a couple of minutes before Crow returned with the box of my mom’s things and a few bags filled with who knew what.
“Thank you. God, thank you so much.”
He set them on the table, and I rushed over, just as Crow said, “I’m going to…go.”
“Where?” Panic nearly choked me. It was a ridiculous reaction. I was a grown man. There wasn’t any reason I couldn’t be alone.
“To the shop.”
“Can I go too?”
He shook his head, making my body sag, but I tried to force away those feelings. Don’t be too needy, don’t be too needy, don’t be too needy. But I didn’t know how long this would last, and I wanted to soak it all in while I could.
“There’s a room out there that’s only mine…and I need to go, but I can’t…”
He couldn’t bring me, and he was nervous for me to stay. “I’ll go through my stuff and stay in the living room, kitchen, or my room like we said.”
He pushed behind his ear the strands of hair that often fell onto his face, but it only fell back down again. Crow ducked his head in a way that I took to be an okay or thank you, and then he was gone and I was alone in his house.
Crow trusted me. I understood the enormity of that.
I stood there, unsure what to do, so used to being with him even though it had been a short time. Crow was the quietest person in the world, but somehow the house felt too quiet without him.
I kept myself busy by going through the box of my mom’s things, despite knowing by heart what was inside: Letters she used to write me sometimes, like she knew I would lose her and would need a reminder of how much she loved me. A bracelet and a necklace that weren’t worth anything, but she’d worn the necklace and had given me the bracelet as a gift. Photos, an old deck of cards we used to play games with, a barrette she used to wear in her hair. I went through every single thing, remembering her and so thankful to Crow for getting this for me.
I wished she could have met him. She would have understood him too, even if most people didn’t. She would have accepted him right away because she knew what it was like to be looked down on by others.
When I finished, I placed everything in the box again, then looked through the bags—more of my mental health meds, some clothes, my journal where I documented my mood swings.
I went to my bedroom—I figured it was mine now—though I would’ve rather been in his. I folded the clothes and put them in the dresser, finding places to put everything away. I wondered why he had this room at all, why he had extra when it had only been him, but I liked that Crow had at least been in a house that felt like more people lived in it. Maybe it had kept him from feeling as lonely.
Then I wondered what I was doing, why I was moving myself in with this man I hardly knew, but it felt right in ways nothing in my life ever had.
I went back to the kitchen and cleaned the counters and swept. How long would Crow be gone? What in the hell was he doing?
I read for a while, and then when it was late enough, called work and quit my job. It was a dick move, not giving them notice, which I hated, but at this point, I didn’t have a choice. I was already up here with Crow, and who knew when the weather would get bad.