Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“Now, now, now,” he chanted against Maddox’s lips. His hand came down over Maddox’s, stroking his dick harder together until his ass clenched and his body shuddered at the force of his orgasm. Which apparently was all the green light Maddox needed, finally bucking up into Ben, face a hard grimace as he shouted and came too. Breathing hard, Ben collapsed onto Maddox’s chest.
“Ben.” Maddox’s hands were unspeakably gentle as he stroked Ben’s face and back. “Oh my God, Ben. What was that?”
“That was what we needed.” Ben kissed him softly.
“Need you.” Maddox’s voice was full of wonder. “I—”
Ben cut him off with another kiss. He had a feeling what Maddox was about to say, and he wasn’t sure he could hear it, not right now, not without falling utterly apart. The sex had stripped him bare, removed him from his anger and hurt, left only this part of him that was always going to require Maddox more than oxygen. The desperation of his feelings for Maddox scared him so much he shook, and he pushed all that into the kiss.
“Are we good?” Maddox’s eyes searched Ben’s face as he pulled back from the kiss.
“Yeah, we are.” Ben prayed harder than he ever had in his life that he wasn’t lying.
* * *
Sharing a queen after weeks in Maddox’s king bed was a bit snug. But still there was nowhere Maddox would rather be than right here, watching Ben sleep. In another few moments, he’d sneak out of bed, order them some food, get Ben a Bloody Mary because he knew the man’s preferred hangover remedy. Thank God there was no planned post-wedding activity they were obligated to be at. Maddox wasn’t sure he could handle being in public with Ben right now. Everything felt raw and sore and new and thrilling at the same time.
Something had changed last night. What exactly that was Maddox was still trying to figure out, but it felt like they’d crossed some sort of threshold that had nothing to do with the sex. Or with their stupid argument over Luis. No, it had more to do with the quiet moments after the sex, the endless kissing and touching. The clumsy shared shower with Maddox leaning on Ben for balance and them kissing until the water ran cold far too soon. Falling asleep wrapped around each other like they’d been doing it for years, not weeks.
“Oh fuck that sun.” Ben’s eyes blinked open, and he stretched before burying his head back under the pillow.
“Morning to you too.” Maddox dropped a kiss on his shoulder blades. “You want your Bloody Mary extra strength? Double order of bacon?”
“And two painkillers.” Ben stuck his head out from the pillow to look beseechingly at Maddox. God, he was adorable, even hungover.
“Already got them. And water.” Maddox passed him the glass of water and the over-the-counter painkillers he’d put on the nightstand earlier.
“God, I love you.” Ben accepted both as Maddox’s heart skittered right out the double glass doors and dove off the balcony.
Love you. He’d almost said the words so many times last night, but every time it had felt like Ben was stopping him, like he had a shield ready to deflect the sentiment. And right now, what Ben meant was that he loved having someone who knew his hangover routine. Not that he loved Maddox. Even if every action last night had been full of emotion, so much that it had physically hurt to look at Ben at points because it was all right there on his face—how open his tender, bruised soul was to Maddox, how easy it would be to hurt him beyond repair.
Please don’t let me hurt him. Maddox made that wish even knowing it was impossible.
“Wish we could stay like this forever.” Still shielding his eyes, Ben flopped over onto Maddox.
“What? You want breakfast in bed and your own personal pill delivery? I’d have thought you’d have gotten enough of that in the hospital.” Maddox jostled him, which only made Ben snuggle in more aggressively.
“No, goofball. The part where I get to wake up with you.” Ben rolled over, resting his head on Maddox’s belly. Even playing on rope swings with his cousins and siblings as a kid hadn’t made him as happy as this moment. Landing his first HALO jump. Winning his first shooting medal. It all paled in comparison to how Maddox felt right then.
“You want that? Don’t think you’d get sick of me?” Maddox wasn’t sure he trusted his voice, which sure enough wavered. But maybe, just maybe this wasn’t going to come crashing down. Maybe they’d be able to work a path forward—
Ben’s phone started trilling the opening chords to “When I’m Sixty-Four.” “Crap. It’s my dad.” Ben scrambled off the bed to retrieve his phone from his pants on the floor.