Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
“You’ll be fine.” Maddox resisted the urge to remind him to eat something and tamped down the even stronger impulse to hug him.
Somehow Camilla had seated Maddox with a bunch of Ben’s father’s side of the family—he was the only non-relative at the table, which made him feel rather conspicuous, a feeling made worse by Jordan and the other kids climbing all over him and trying to take his cane while their parents tried vainly to rein them in.
“We need to be nice to Uncle Ben’s friend,” Kyle reminded Jordan, plunking him back in his seat. That was right. Didn’t matter how much he wanted otherwise, that was all he’d ever truly be—Ben’s friend. Didn’t matter how much Ben wanted to pretend otherwise just because he was out of sorts today. Maddox knew his place in their lives.
The food was good—he wouldn’t have expected anything less from Camilla’s exquisite taste—but he ate less and less as the toasts approached, worry for Ben clouding his hunger. He didn’t have the best view of Ben, so he couldn’t monitor whether Ben had kept up the drinking or not. Finally, the MC got everyone’s attention for the toasts. Marilee went first, sharing a sweet story about the first time Ben’s dad brought Camilla home.
Then it was Ben’s turn to come to the front of the room, and he accepted the microphone with a shaking hand. This was the big, bad operator—one of the toughest SEALs in the teams, the guy everyone else would say couldn’t be rattled, no matter what happened. And he was visibly nervous over a simple speech. Maddox had never wanted more to wrap him up in a hug.
“I suck at this kind of thing.” Ben’s laugh was a bit unsteady, but his voice at least sounded sober. “I’m not like Marilee—I don’t really remember the first time Camilla came over.” The audience tittered uncomfortably, and Maddox tried to send Ben some calming vibes. “But I do remember the first vacation we took as a family for my high school graduation. And that’s what I remember—that we were a family. No questions asked, no big announcements. Just the four of us. A family.” Ben coughed and shuffled his feet.
“Somehow I just knew that Camilla was going to stick around. And she did. And I’m so glad my dad has her in his life. I want...” Ben drifted off, cheeks reddening. Maddox leaned forward, trying to telepathically urge Ben to share what he wanted. But Ben coughed again and went a different tactic. “Most people don’t get that. Ever. It’s pure luck that brought her to us. And I just hope she sticks around because I can’t...I can’t imagine this family without her.”
Oh Ben. Maddox’s heart clenched hard. Even today, on the happiest of occasions, he still couldn’t fully trust in love. He’s never going to. Not really. Maddox blinked hard. I’ll just have to believe enough for both of us. But he wasn’t sure how long people could sustain a relationship like that—did he have it in him to prop up Ben’s cynical heart?
“Congrats, guys. You’ve found what most people never do. Hold it tight.” Ben’s eyes caught Maddox’s and he knew he did have it in him. No way was he letting go of Ben. Gonna hold you tight, he said with his eyes, and for once, the message seemed to be received because Ben nodded subtly, voice getting stronger. “To Dad and Camilla!”
Ben handed the MC the microphone back like it was a live grenade and hightailed back to his seat, passing Maddox’s table on the way. Maddox grabbed his arm. “You did good,” he whispered.
“It sucked.” Ben pulled his arm loose, hard on himself like always and apparently still in a mood. He stalked back to his seat, not looking back.
He’s always like this. Maddox tried to not to feel hurt and failed miserably. The down low be damned, Maddox needed to make things right with Ben—see if he could calm his guy down. But the universe—or more precisely, the wedding schedule—conspired against him. First, after the bridal couple’s first dance, Ben had to dance with Camilla, then with his sister, then it seemed like every darn female relative between four and seventy lined up for a turn with him. Maddox already knew that Ben was a good dancer, and not just in the club moves department—he had a gift for rhythm and was a natural leader, spinning his various partners around with a smile only Maddox could tell was painted on.
“Glad for your bum leg or jealous you can’t dance?” Kyle asked, rocking Jordan on his lap. The kid had fallen asleep somewhere around the first song.
“Glad,” Maddox said, not quite lying. If he could dance, there would be the awkward question of whether or not to dance with Ben and what it would mean if they did dance, and yeah, he was totally okay with getting to skip those sorts of questions. But another part of him, a small, deeply hidden part, wanted to be in Ben’s arms, wanted to look into his eyes, wanted to let Ben turn him around, his effortless grace on full display, all for him... Be quiet, he told that secret part of himself.