Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84266 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 421(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
He nodded, forgetting that Ben couldn’t see him. However, Ben kept talking before he could speak. “You’ll see. We’ll be back out with the team in no time. Can’t wait to be back out on the grinder.”
Not me. Maddox wasn’t reviving their argument from the jungle, but if he’d learned anything from his dance with death, it was that life was awfully short and he couldn’t make other people happy. Not his family, not Ben, no matter how much he wished otherwise. He stared at the curtain, which might as well be a brick wall. Maddox honestly wasn’t sure after all these years whether Ben’s loyalty was conditional—what would happen to them if Maddox wasn’t on the teams?
“Mad?” Ben’s voice was soft and crept past the curtain, past Maddox’s melancholy. “You awake?”
Maddox didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer.
“So glad you’re here,” Ben whispered. “Don’t ever scare me again, man. Don’t leave me.”
Even as Maddox’s heart broke, he knew he couldn’t promise him that.
Chapter Eleven
“Just take it slow.” Ben’s dad had a steadying arm out as they navigated the parking lot, heading to Maddox’s ground-floor condo. And if someone had told him a month ago that he’d get winded on a walk he routinely sprinted, Ben would have laughed and laughed. “I wish you’d let me get your things for you—”
“And I wish you’d let me stay here tonight.” Ben tried to keep his complaining good-natured but wasn’t sure he succeeded. Truth was that he was in a foul mood despite being discharged that morning. Felt fucking awful leaving Maddox behind. Made his eyes sting and chest thump, being wheeled out of the room. And making matters worse, Maddox had seemed almost...relieved.
Was Maddox finally sick of him? Sick of the memories between them? Ben refused to accept that possibility.
“You can’t be alone,” his dad said, voice even. “And Camilla’s making tamales. It’ll be fun.”
“Fun.” Ben didn’t laugh as they finally made it to the door. His dad had visited them here, but always with Maddox home. Being the one unlocking the door, knowing he was about to enter an empty apartment, made Ben fumble the keys. “I’m just staying the one night.”
“Only reason they didn’t put you in the rehab unit is because they’re afraid your bad mood might be contagious.” His dad, saint that he was, laughed and didn’t seem to notice Ben struggling with the lock. “So yes, you’re staying with us for a few days. Maybe until they spring Maddox? Do you really want to be here alone?”
“There.” Ben ignored the question as he finally got the lock to work. No, no he did not want to be here without Maddox, silence oppressive, memories everywhere, and the constant feeling that he could have done more to prevent Maddox’s injuries, prevent this tension between them. “Speaking of Maddox, don’t let me forget to grab some clothes for him. You’re taking me to see him tomorrow, right?”
“You have PT scheduled, so yes.” His father’s eyes were too knowing. “You’re a good friend.”
No, I’m really not. Ben headed past the empty living room toward the hallway that led to the bedrooms. “I’ll just be a minute.”
“Place looks nice. You’d never know it had been closed up so long.” His father leaned against the big leather chair. Ben’s jaw tensed.
“Maddox pays one of the neighbor kids to look after it when we ship out. Nice kid—his mom’s in the service—and Maddox’s a stickler for not leaving anything to rot.” Ben never knew what to say to the pack of tween-age kids from the complex that followed Maddox around. And left to his own devices, he’d totally forget something essential in the rush of going wheels up, but Maddox never forgot a detail.
“Beats living in the barracks, right?”
You have no idea. None. Ben nodded sharply. “Think you could grab a bag for me from the hall closet?” God, he hated asking for help. “Make it two. One for Maddox too.”
“You know he’s welcome to stay with us too. We’d be happy to have both of you.” This wasn’t the first time his dad had made the offer, but the only thing worse than being trapped here with Maddox would be to be at his dad’s unable to really talk, everything doubly weird while they slept in adjacent guest rooms.
“He’ll be happier here. Gotta have his kitchen.” Ben started pulling clothes out of his closet one-handed. “But you could help me find a stool that’ll fit in there for him, or maybe we should have a wheelchair here?”
“I’ll make arrangements—I know a home health store where we can rent what you’ll need.”
“Thanks.” Knowing he was being a pain, Ben stopped stuffing shirts in the duffel bag and went to squeeze his dad’s arm. They weren’t huggers, not really, but Ben did know how to be grateful. “Let me know how I can repay you. What needs doing over at your place?”