Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
And it’s not really her fault either.
Acting is her passion. Even though I don’t know the first thing about passion and don’t have the luxury to find out, I know how it can drive people. I know how it drives her. How reckless she was the night we met. How she was running off with that fuckface. Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t been there. If I hadn’t stopped her.
Sometimes I wonder if I could ever see her on stage. I bet she’ll shine like a star.
Actually, no.
She’s Isadora Agni Holmes. She’ll burn bright and set the stage on fire.
Shepard
If you’ve been so busy with practice for your debut, then why is it that this is the first time I’m hearing of it?
Isadora
Because you’re busy with your season and practice and traveling and all that. So I didn’t want to bother you.
Plus I know whenever I start to talk about theater and acting and scenes and stuff, you start to drift away a little bit. Which is fine. Theatre isn’t for everyone. So I just… let it go.
Renewed anger pulses through my veins at this.
He thinks her passion is boring? To the extent that he starts to drift away. To the extent that she notices he starts to drift away and doesn’t feel comfortable sharing her dreams with him.
I know she’s trying to make light of it and wave it away, but what the fuck is he thinking?
What the fuck is going through his thick head?
This is the girl he’s in love with and he can’t gather enough enthusiasm—pretend or otherwise—to support her through it.
With my heart pounding in my chest, I fire off my reply.
Shepard
First, I want you to stop and turn around.
Isadora
What?
Shepard
Go back home.
Send me the topic of your assignment.
Isadora
What? Why?
Shepard
Because I’ll do it for you.
Isadora
You’ll do my assignment?
Shepard
That’s what I said.
Isadora
What? That’s crazy! 🤯🤯🤯
Shepard
Go back.
Isadora
But you hate homework. You hate assignments. Every time I tell you I have homework, you thank God that you don’t have any. That you’re out of the hellhole that people call school.
Yes, he does hate homework, schoolwork, assignments. He hates anything that requires him to get away from soccer. And I’ve helped him. I’ve helped him practice. I’ve done his homework. I know soccer’s his passion and so I’ve done what I can to be there for him. The only way I can be there for him.
So I can do the same for her.
Shepard
Not tonight.
Isadora
But, Shepard, you have practice in the morning!! You had practice today! 🤯🤯🤯🤯
You can’t do this. You must be exhausted!!
I clench my teeth at his name again.
Shepard
Go back and text me the details.
Right now.
I see those dots going again.
Isadora
Is this you being jealous?
Because I’m going to go see another guy.
I stare at her texts for a few seconds before replying truthfully.
Shepard
Yes.
Isadora
You don’t have to be.
I only want you. I promise.
My jealousy roars.
My jealousy is set on fire and is now engulfing my veins.
Every time she says something like this, something that’s meant for my brother, I want to out myself. I want to tell her that it’s me she’s been talking to. It’s me she’s been dancing for. It’s me she’s been paying her dues to every fucking night.
Me. Me. Me.
Shepard
Go the fuck back.
Isadora
Okay. Okay, I’m going.
Shepard
And next time you’re in a bind, you text me first.
Isadora
I will.
Shepard
Next time you’re spending your days in practice; getting exhausted at practice; next time you fucking practice period, you tell me about it.
Isadora
Okay, yes.
Shepard
And if you think about taking some motherfucker’s name in front of me, don’t.
Her reply is slow in coming and I swear to God, I’m going to fucking lose it.
Isadora
Why?
Shepard
Because it makes me want to fuck him up.
Isadora
I won’t. Shepard’s the only name I want to say anyway.
I stare at her words for a few moments.
Then I shut off the phone and toss it aside. I get up to make myself a pot of chamomile tea, hoping to calm the fire in my gut from her last message. Not to mention, it’s going to be a long night if her assignment really consists of half her grade.
Actually, it’s going to be a long fucking four weeks until the home game.
Until I get to go back and put an end to this madness.
Chapter 12
Four Weeks Later…
He’s not bluffing.
I wish he were, but he isn’t.
This blackmail is very, very real.
So my only recourse is the truth. My only recourse is taking matters into my own hands and telling Shepard the whole truth when he comes back. So he doesn’t have any leverage over me.
So he doesn’t get to tear me apart from my boyfriend.
I know nothing is final yet, but he still feels like my boyfriend.
Especially when he asks me about my day. When he listens to all my costume woes and lighting disasters. He listens to me about my classes and how I wish I could be outside, soaking the snow in, instead of being cooped up inside, learning about things I don’t really care about. He listens to me about my biji, how much I love her, how I wish I could live with her. Not that he didn’t before, but before, for some very strange reason, we didn’t have the intimacy we have now.