Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 73794 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73794 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Trust.
Trust myself, my training, and my instincts. Trust the team. Trust the gear. Trust the person who’d been checking our gear all damn summer. Tony. Trust Tony.
Doubt was deadly.
Trust was hard, but it was my only option. Trust that we’d find a way out, that I’d see light and fresh air any moment. Trust that I’d see Tony again.
Tony.
There it was. The distraction I’d fought against all damn day. I blinked to clear my mind, and when I opened my eyes, a beam was headed right for me.
A soundless scream rose in my chest as time slowed further.
“Caleb.” Suzy yanked me backward, both of us tumbling and rolling, beam hitting the spot where I’d been a tenth of a second earlier.
And then, daylight. Hazy, but daylight nonetheless as we crawled out of the debris that had once been a mighty barn. And right back into the chaos of trying to contain the blaze, no time to contemplate life or death or the whisper-thin line between the two.
“You okay?” Sean asked me hours later in the locker room as I emerged from a shower. The shift felt like it had lasted a year, yet also like it had been only minutes ago that we’d clocked in. “That was a close call. You need to talk?”
Sean meant well, and undoubtedly, he would have been willing to chat with me if I’d answered honestly. But my thoughts flashed to Tony and our conversation about how hard it was to be honest in this line of work. Yet it was so blessedly easy to be honest with Tony. He was the one person in the world where I didn’t have to worry about what I said because he understood. He knew when to sit quietly, when to ask questions, and when to hold them. When to hold me.
So I lied.
“I’m fine. Just another call, right? Live to chase another day.”
Rather than accepting my answer like I’d hoped, Sean made a skeptical noise. “It’s okay to be rattled.”
“I’ll survive.” I shrugged, looking away before toweling off. I pulled on my street clothes with jerky movements.
“Hey, we’re still friends, right?” Sean moved to the bench closest to my locker.
“You’ve been acting captain all summer,” I reminded him with a pointed look. “You haven’t accepted it yet, but you’re likely our captain going forward, Sean.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t be honest with me.” He offered a laughably earnest look. I snorted, and his expression fell. “Look, I’ve been asking myself all week if I messed up by warning you off…you know.”
“The fact we can’t mention you know by name would say you didn’t. It just is what it is. Don’t beat yourself up for doing your job as captain.”
“The thing is, I’m more than a job. It’s one of the reasons I’m not crazy about being captain. I don’t like being distanced from my fellow crew members, many of whom I consider family as much as friends.”
“And you look out for those friends. I get it. You were looking out for me and you know. Now, can we drop it?”
“I’m also a dad,” Sean continued conversationally, and I wasn’t sure whether he was changing the subject. “Declan has an upcoming race near Seattle. He texted me earlier inviting me to come up.”
“That’s nice.” I had no idea how I was supposed to reply.
“But the invitation wasn’t clear whether he wanted or expected me to bring Denver.”
“Ah.” I made a noise like I might understand. “You’re afraid of things being weird?”
“Yeah. I don’t want to make things awkward for anyone, but I can’t explain how happy I am with Denver. Of course I want to bring him, and I want my kids to love him.”
“He’s a good guy. Give your kids time to see that.”
“Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. Denver and I have a good thing going, something that feels permanent, and we’re not going anywhere, regardless.”
“So you’re more okay if he sits this one race out? Maybe going alone is the right call.”
“No.” Sean made a frustrated noise. “That’s not my point at all. I’m trying to say that some things are important enough that it’s absolutely worth enduring short-term awkwardness. Denver is an important part of my life. So are my kids. And yeah, things might be weird at the race, but the future I want for all of us is worth figuring out how to overcome that.”
“So you’ll take Denver. It will work out.” I hoped I wasn’t lying, but from all accounts, Sean had a decent relationship with his adult kids.
“I think I’m still not making my point.” Sean held up his hands. “Some things in life are worth fighting for. Some people in life. And I’m hoping I didn’t screw up something that kind of real and wonderful for you as opposed to something strictly casual.”