Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 35498 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 177(@200wpm)___ 142(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 35498 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 177(@200wpm)___ 142(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
When Matthew didn’t deny it, Robert groaned. “Hell, he’s in love. And there goes another potential wingman.”
Matthew winced. “I’m not in—”
“Unless you want to start hitting the gay bars,” Rory agreed with a laugh, interrupting him.
“No offense, but it’s a woman I need.”
“If you want a good woman, you need to read Nora, Nora. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Can I just—”
“Will her books explain why Matthew is drooling after a vampire stripper when he was into girls until about five minutes ago?” Robert cut him off, staring Rory down. “Because that’s what we’re talking about, right?”
Rory chuckled. “I can’t believe I got you to say vampire stripper.”
“Oi!” Matthew ran a hand through his hair, lowering his voice to a harsh whisper. “I’m sittin’ right here. What say we focus on the desperate man, lads?”
They both turned obediently in his direction.
“Grand. Yes, I got you here under false pretenses, but I had a reason. Robert is a marketing guru and you’re the go-to on navigating difficult situations. I happen to be a man in need of guidance and potential rebranding, since my usual sales pitch is aimed at the opposite sex. If that’s not a prickly problem for you to solve, I don’t know what is.”
“Pickle problem.” Rory blinked in surprise. “Wait. Robert, can you record this on your phone for posterity? I think we’re being asked for dating advice.”
“Sure, now I’m Robert.”
Matthew wanted to snarl in frustration, but then he noticed Oliver starting his lunges. God love those damn lunges. “I’m not sure I know how to approach him here without coming off like a wanker. If we were at a club, maybe, but then you mentioned his car and now I’m not sure if he’s single. And we’re all assuming, but I’m not even sure if he’s gay.”
“He is.” Rory’s smile was practically angelic. “Trust me, Matthew, he is definitely gay. And you really do have it bad. Luckily, you came to the right OG.”
Robert frowned. “OG?”
“Original Gay,” Rory clarified. “Solomon may be the oldest but he was living in the deepest closet created by man until a few years ago. Owen was a serial womanizer and kinky bastard, like our boy Matthew, so there is a precedent. Seamus was trapped in perpetually single dad-pants, and Jen was engaged to a limp-noodled loser instead of living it up with her two hot bisexuals.”
Matthew blinked. “What about Brady?”
Rory quelled him with a look. “Brady is a giant anomaly. Also his fiancé could have this place bugged for all I know, so let’s leave them both out of it just to be safe.”
“I can see now why my sisters like you so much,” Robert laughed. “You’re as certifiable as they are.”
“All the Waynes adore me. I’m the LGBT EMT that’s the GOAT.” Rory shook his head sadly at Matthew’s confused frown. “Greatest of all time? You’re only twenty-three, my little shillelagh. How can you not know that? Jake knows that.”
Jake was the eldest son of Seamus Finn, the first family member they’d met in Ireland before William had rushed the whole family across the ocean to keep them out of trouble and away from his old boss.
“There is nothing little about my shillelagh,” Matthew responded sharply. “But your excessive use of initials has forced me to close your advice-giving window. Robert? You’re up.”
Robert lifted his hands in surrender. “I appreciate the guru status and the confidence, Matthew, but I’m a breast man, so I’m not sure how to help you. And as you know, the last time I tried to set my brother up on a date with what I thought was a suitable man, things went so wrong I was temporarily voted off the island.”
Rory smiled victoriously, but Robert wasn’t finished. “I still stand by the reason I set it up, though. Hugo had spent a lot of time suffering instead of going after the man he really wanted, and he was so damn miserable I thought he needed some help moving on. So maybe that’s an answer. If you want to make a move, just get off your ass and do it. If you fail, at least you tried. But if you keep waiting, a well-meaning relative might play matchmaker out of the goodness of their heart and make things a million times worse.”
Matthew instantly slid off his stool and Rory scoffed. “Oh please. Don’t pretend that worked for you. Just do it? He stole my advice window and gave you a sneaker slogan. I’m telling the family to vote you off the island again,” he said, frowning at Robert, who rolled his eyes.
“He doesn’t need to rebrand or navigate anything. He just needed to run it by someone who wouldn’t judge him and get the go-ahead. He has it now. What’s the problem?”
“That’s not what he said,” Rory corrected, stepping over to Matthew. “Don’t tell Nora, but I partially agree with him.”