Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 60234 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 301(@200wpm)___ 241(@250wpm)___ 201(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60234 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 301(@200wpm)___ 241(@250wpm)___ 201(@300wpm)
He looks at me like he’s handing over a piece of his soul, and all I want to do is take it. But how can I? There’s so much bullshit standing in the way.
“Yeah,” he barks out a laugh, bitter and cold. “I still see ‘em. Every last one. They haunt me, Maggie, every damn day and night.” His face is all twisted up like he’s carrying the weight of the world, and I can feel my heart ripping into pieces.
I say, “I’m sorry,” but the words don’t feel enough. What can I say to a man who’s given so much, who’s been through hell?
“No, Maggie, I’m the one who’s sorry.” He shakes his head, dropping down on the bed with his back to me like he can’t even face himself.
“After I got back from deployment, I was wrecked. My parents had a life all planned out for me, but I couldn’t go back to that. Maybe I never wanted it in the first place.”
“It’s your life, Nova. Your choice.”
“Yeah, but that choice cost me everything. My family, money, damn near my life.” His voice breaks, and something inside me aches to take him in my arms and soothe that storm raging in him. But I stay put.
“You’re still here.”
“I am,” he agrees with a slow nod. “I’m here because of Ace and Dix and Shades. My brothers. They took me in and gave me time to get my shit together, or as together as I could.”
I nod even though Nova isn’t looking at me. “They’re your family.” But not in the way the Bloodthirsty Devils were like family to me. No, these men were a real family. Through thick and thin, they have each other’s back. They might fight, but they trust in their bond and the loyalty that it brings.
“For years, they’ve been all I got.”
I swallow hard against the lump in my throat and shake my head as if that will get rid of my thoughts. “I get it.”
He stands slowly, looking at me with a hint of a smile, like he’s trying to find something good in all this mess. “You do?”
I nod. “Completely.”
He steps forward. “Then you understand that I’ve been surviving for years, just dealing with life from one day to the next. Practicing medicine and serving the MC.”
“We all do what we can to survive, Nova.” Isn’t that exactly what I’ve been doing for most of my life, just surviving?
“But I want more, Maggie. I want to be better for myself and for you.”
My eyes go wide. “Me?”
He nods. “Yeah. I want you by my side and in my bed. I want to build a life with you, Maggie.”
My heart flutters in my chest at his words because I’m no different than any other woman who wants someone to love her for real. To see me as I am—potty mouth, scarred face, and bald head—and love me. I want it, but I don’t believe I’ll ever get it.
I spent years waiting for Demon to be that man even though he proved time and again he was incapable of being that person. I want to believe Nova’s words when they curl around my heart and warm my flesh, so I suck in deep breath and let the words rush out on the exhale.
“I want that with you, too, Nova. Come away with me, and we can have it all. Everything.” My breath catches, and I’m waiting for him, just like yesterday, hanging on to his words.
“Maggie,” he starts, and I already know. I know what’s coming, but it’s not what I want to hear.
“I can’t leave the MC, Maggie. I won’t.”
My smile’s there, but it’s all wrong. It’s like it’s breaking with the rest of me. “I know. You say you want me, but you don’t. Not really. You want me on your terms or not at all.”
“That’s not true.” He’ closer, and all I see are those deep blue eyes piercing me. “I want you, Maggie. God, I need you.” His forehead’s against mine, and his hand’s at my neck. At that moment, it’s like I can feel everything he’s feeling.
I close my eyes so I don’t see the pain in him. His voice wraps around me, and I wanna believe his words so bad. I wanna give in. I wanna forget I ain’t safe here, that the Devils will kill me if I stay in Angel Harbor. And I can’t forget that.
My eyes open and I take in his handsome face, committing every line to memory so I’ll never forget this man or this moment.
My lips find his and I kiss him with my whole heart, pouring all the love I feel for him into what’s gonna be our last kiss. Our tongues dance like they know this is it, the final time they’ll meet.