Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
“Amber, I’m attracted to you. I want to be with you.” My breath caught in my throat. He must have misunderstood my reaction for fear because he turned away, his shoulders sagging. “I know you probably don’t feel the same way, and maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up at all. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
I laughed, and Zach frowned at me. “You didn’t scare me. At least not in the way you probably think.”
“I’m confused,” he said with an adorable expression. There was a dimple in his left cheek I wanted to kiss. In my head, I always wanted, wanted, wanted. I wished I could actually go through with it.
“I’m not scared of you,” I said, and I realized it was true. Even though I knew Zach was much stronger than me and was physically capable of doing what those men had done, I knew he wouldn’t. “I’m scared of how you make me feel.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
“No. I’m scared because you make me hope for something I thought I wasn’t capable of. I’m scared of hope.”
Zach looked lost. “I’m not good with subtlety. I know women always want men to figure out what they mean without spelling it out, but I really need you to spell it out for me. I don’t want to mess this up.”
I smiled. “I don’t want to be just friends. I want more.”
“More?”
“I think I’m falling for you.” The moment the words left my mouth worry twisted my stomach. Why did I have to say I was falling in love for him? That was probably a huge red flag for most guys, but especially for Zach from what I knew of him. But I was done being cautious. The last three years caution and fear had been my prison. I wanted to break out of them. I needed to.
Relief filled Zach’s face. “Good.”
“Good?” I whispered.
“Yeah, because I think I’m falling for you too.”
My heart exploded with joy. I bit my lip, unsure of what to do now. Zach’s eyes flitted toward my lips, but he made no move to kiss me. I knelt on the bench and eased closer to Zach. He froze, his eyes never leaving my face. My knees bumped his thigh, his heat radiating through our clothes. I rested my hand on his shoulder, felt the muscles flex under my touch. Slowly I leaned closer and touched my lips to his in a feather-light kiss. Nerves fluttered in my stomach. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. I braced myself for an onslaught of bad memories, but none came. There was only the softness of Zach’s lips, his warmth, his scent. I pressed my other palm against his chest, feeling the steady beating of his heart. His hand, which had rested on the armrest, touched my waist very lightly. I jumped and Zach pulled back immediately. “Too much?”
I snatched up his hand and put it back to the same spot on my waist. “No, it’s okay. I was only surprised.”
I wasn’t sure anymore what was too much. Zach made me believe that maybe I could break down every single wall that I’d built around myself after the incident. Walls that had seemed impenetrable, walls that had dominated my life for years, that had isolated me to the point of utter loneliness and despair seemed suddenly conquerable.
I didn’t try to deepen the kiss, neither did Zach, though he probably wanted to. Eventually, I sat back on my haunches. “So,” he said, a smile slowly building on his face.
“So.”
“Does that mean we…” He trailed off.
I thought of yesterday, of Brittany in only a towel, of what she and Zach must have been doing before she walked into the living room. “No.”
His expression fell. “Because of yesterday.”
“That too,” I admitted. “But this isn’t a definite no. I just think we need to discuss a few things before we take this any further.” Heat rushed into my cheeks. I couldn’t believe I’d managed to say the words. I felt in control of my fate for maybe the first time in three years.
Zach nodded, relaxing under my touch, and I realized my hands were still on his chest and shoulder. I dropped them and folded them in my lap. “So you’re giving me a second chance?”
“You never got a first chance to begin with,” I said teasingly. Was this how normal girls my age felt?
He grinned, and warmth filled my stomach. I wanted to kiss him again, but that would contradict what I’d just suggested. “How about we go on a date?” he asked. “Tonight?”
I nodded. I couldn’t believe that going on a date was actually part of my reality now.
Zach
“Tonight,” she agreed. There was a hint of uncertainty on her face. “But I still think we need to talk about things before we go out.”
“Okay, let’s do it then.” Another gust of wind blasted over us and Amber shivered. Normally, I’d have wrapped my arms around her to keep her warm, but I didn’t want to overwhelm her. “Do you want to go inside?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Brian might be home by now and he’ll complicate things.”
I grimaced. I’d forgotten about Brian. He’d be royally pissed if he found out I was going on a date with Amber, and even more pissed when he found out I wanted to take things further with her. “He’ll try to stop us from going out.”
Amber sighed. “I know. But this is my life. I can’t live in a cocoon forever.”
“Brian won’t like it.”
“Oh, he definitely won’t like it, but he’ll deal.” Amber gave a delicate shrug. “So let’s talk.”
I felt oddly nervous. “Brian probably told you that I don’t have a great track record with relationships.”
“He did. So what about Brittany? What’s going on between you two?”
“Nothing.” Amber looked doubtful. “We’ve been seeing each other for about one year, but it’s been only physical. And it wasn’t exclusive, we both saw other people.”
She stared down at her hands. “So it was about sex?”
“Yeah.” I was actually embarrassed. When Amber said it like that, it made me sound like an asshole, which I probably was. “I never found someone I wanted to be serious about.”