Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
“I'm not trying to compensate for anything here!” I said with a wink, and immediately wished someone would smash my fucking big mouth in.
Amber looked away.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I...” I rambled, then shut up before I could fuck up even worse.
“It's ok,” she said with a shrug. “Please don't apologize.” She climbed into the passenger seat with some difficulties, and I walked around the car and sat down behind the steering wheel. She fumbled with the buckle of the seatbelt. I hesitated. Should I try to help her? I would have to touch her and that would make her very uncomfortable at the very least. “Do you want me to help?” I asked eventually.
Amber froze and raised her head, uncertainty reflected in her eyes. I already regretted having asked her but I couldn't take it back. Her eyes locked with mine and her hands dropped from the seatbelt. “Yes, thank you.”
I tried to hide my surprise as I reached for the belt, careful not to touch her body. She tensed but didn’t say anything. I fastened the seatbelt as fast as possible and pulled back from her to give her room. “Done,” I told her, trying to act casual. I started the engine and took off from the parking lot. She relaxed.
I turned the radio on. “What music do you like to listen to?”
“Taylor Swift.”
“Really?”
She laughed at the look on my face. “Actually, I was just trying to see your reaction. You don’t look like the kind of guy who listens to Taylor Swift.”
“I’ll see what I can do for you.” I started searching the radio for something she might like and eventually settled on a station that was playing Adele. “Okay?”
She bobbed her head. “Better than okay. I love Adele.” She leaned back and gazed out of the side window. “You know, you're the only man apart from Brian and Dad that I’ve been alone with in years without wanting to bolt.”
I risked a quick glance in her direction. Her gaze was soft and melancholic. “I don't like being in cars. I usually feel trapped, but I'm ok now.” She started humming along with ‘Rolling in the Deep’.
I didn't know what to say and she didn’t seem to expect a reaction. I drummed the beat of the song on the steering wheel and she rewarded me with her smile. I wanted to see that look on her face again. I’d do anything for it.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Amber
I felt horrible for bailing on therapy yesterday. Brian had been disappointed when I’d told him. He couldn’t understand that talking to Olivia had actually helped and had brought me a tiny step closer to normalcy. I kept my eyes fixed on my plate and took another bite from the stew that I'd prepared for us.
The bell rang, startling me. Zach rose from his chair and walked out of the kitchen to get the door. I didn’t even flinch anymore when he or Brian moved around me. Being in their company 24/7 was obviously helping in some strange way. Reagan's voice sounded in the living room, then steps rang out and she and Zach appeared in the kitchen. Kevin hovered in the doorway, his gaze flitting over to me then back to Reagan. I lowered my head, feeling my cheeks burn in embarrassment.
“Hi Amber, Hi Brian,” she said as she plopped down on the free chair next to me. Her red hair hung in waves down her back.
“Your hair is gorgeous,” I said without thinking. She grinned. “Kevin keeps telling me too, but I hate the color.” She held up the DVD ‘The Devil wears Prada’. “I thought we could have a movie night. It's been too long since we had one.” Her eyes shone with excitement. “So what do you say?”
Brian lowered his fork, his expression uncertain. I knew why. He avoided my gaze as he said, “I don't know.”
“That sounds great,” I said before Brian could say anything else. Reagan flashed me a grin, clapping her hands. “Then let’s get on with it!”
“We won't watch a chick-flick,” Zach said with a smirk, pointing his fork at the DVD Reagan was still holding up. Reagan rolled her eyes and I had to stifle a laugh. “Whatever,” she muttered, though she had difficulties keeping a straight face. “What would you suggest? Rambo the complete edition?”
“No, that one’s reserved for Valentine’s day.”
I choked on my water, which made Zach’s smile widen.
“I’m sure we can compromise on something,” Reagan said.
“We're still eating,” Brian reminded her, pointing with his fork at his plate.
Reagan pouted. “Well, then eat faster!”
I shook my head with a smile. I was already done eating and put my plate into the sink. Kevin and Reagan walked into the living room and I followed a few feet behind them. They sat down on one of the loveseats and I chose the one across from them, pulling my legs up and rested my chin on my knees. Brian and Zach entered the room and I could tell that my brother was worried again. I wished he would stop looking at me like I was a porcelain doll that would shatter any moment. I knew that my mental state was very questionable but his worry kept reminding me of that fact and made acting normal even more difficult. He plopped down on the sofa and chanced another look at me while Zach browsed their DVD cabinet.
He straightened. “Crank!” He lifted a DVD with a man in a business suit and a gun in his hand. I'd never heard of that movie. Reagan seemed to know it though, and she wasn't too enthusiastic about watching it. I nodded my agreement anyway. It was better than watching a love story. I relaxed into the lovechair and turned my gaze to the TV as the opening credits started to run.
Some time in the middle of the movie, my eyes landed on Reagan and Kevin. They were snuggled against one another on the loveseat, looking like two people in love. Kevin kept running his hands up and down Reagan's back, occasionally planting a kiss on her temple, or throat, or cheek until she turned her head and captured his lips with her mouth. Usually, displays of affection brought back memories but what I witnessed between Reagan and Kevin was far more than physical closeness. It was a display of love, of trust, of tenderness.