Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 115590 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 578(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115590 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 578(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
And I knew he believed that. “No, it’s not. You’re not…” This. He wasn’t a guy who belonged behind bars. He wasn’t a good guy, but he was to me.
“Jacobs wanted my ass in here. He offered me a deal. You for me.” He tapped his hands on the table, the cuffs clinking. “You and me both know I was gonna end up right here at some point. I didn’t have plans. You did. You wanted to get out of Dayton, and had you been booked, you wouldn’t have.”
I had stolen my fair share of cars. I had earned a spot in here just as much as him. But he wasn’t supposed to care. He let me go days before the arrest. Never called. Never texted. I didn’t understand. “It wasn’t your problem.”
His feet tapped the floor under the table, knuckles washing white as he stared at his hands. “You’ll always be my problem, Roe.”
I choked back a sob because I hated this thing that lingered between us. I wanted to run to him, but he constantly held me at arm's length. I placed my elbows on the table, raking both hands through my hair as I stared at the steel surface.
“Then why did you push me away?” I whispered.
Seconds ticked by before he sighed. “You know how you said your mom hadn’t always been like she is now, Monroe? Neither had mine.” He slumped back in his chair, eyes set on me. “Mine was in nursing school. She had plans. Then she met my piece of shit father and became another Dayton statistic. Knocked up. On drugs. Dreams down the toilet.”
And that was shit, but it wasn’t us. “You’re not him. And I’m not her. You’d never let me not go to college, but Dixon isn’t the only college. And you didn’t have to break my heart to do it.”
“So, you’d go to college. Then what? Marry me?” He shook his head. “I’m not gonna have shit to offer you.”
“You don’t have to offer me anything. And you don’t get to tell me what I do or don’t want.”
“It wasn’t about what you wanted, Roe. It’s what I wanted for you.”
I could feel the chasm between us, and I knew the clock was ticking. In just minutes, I’d have to walk out of here, and I didn’t know when I’d see him again. Something in me broke. “All I wanted was your love, Zepp!”
“And that’s something you’ll always have.” The resignation in his words killed me because it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. It was “I love you, but I’m letting you go,” and I didn’t want to let him go. Ever.
“So, what now?” I said. “You expect me to go to Florida and just forget about you?”
“I expect you to get the fuck out of Dayton.”
“Move on...meet someone else…”
His jaw ticced. His gaze dropped to the table.
The crack in my heart tore wide. I had to get out of here. I hated that he saw himself as so worthless because, to me, he was my entire world.
“I don’t...” His brows pinched together, nostrils flaring. “I don’t want you to come back.”
“You—"
“I’m taking you off the visitor’s list.” He might as well have thrust his hand into my chest and pulled out my heart because this felt so final, and I knew it was.
I fought tears as I pushed to my feet, knowing there was nothing I could say.
He looked out the window, his jaw slowly ticcing. “I’ll never love anybody the way I love you, Roe. That I promise.”
“I love you.” And then I walked away, my heart shattering into little pieces that I left on the floor of that visiting room. Zeppelin Hunt would always be the boy who had shown me what love was, even when he couldn’t love himself.
41
Monroe
Ten months later
I tossed the pen onto my lilac bedspread, tired of studying for my world history exam next week. “Why the hell do I need to take history when I’m going into accounting?” I asked, glancing at Jade.
She laid, sprawled on her bed on the other side of our dorm room, the oversized Alabama State hoodie drowning her. The sound of heavy metal music from her headphones reached me even from here. She yanked one bud out and glanced at me. “Did you say something?”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry about it.”
“You should stay this weekend and come to Brandon’s party.” She lifted a brow, and I dropped my gaze to the book in my lap. “Dayton sucks.”
It did suck. Truthfully, I’d never go back there again if I didn’t have to. It was full of memories, and it wasn’t the bad ones I was hiding from. It was the good.
“And you know Brandon wants to see you.” She smirked. “You should totally date him. He’s hot.”