Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
If he’d offered her something tender, she couldn’t have even considered it. There was no tenderness between them, but there was need. The need to find out if he could do all the things he promised, if he could take her out of herself, if he could make her forget even for a few moments that she was alone in the world.
She nodded.
“No, you have to say it,” Beck commanded. “You have to give me the power, but with the understanding that you can take it back at any time. You can stop me. But I have to hear the words. There’s no shame in it. There’s no shame in this dungeon. It might coat the world outside, but it has no place here.”
She wanted to believe it, needed at least to try this with him. She shoved away every single reason to run from him.
“Please hurt me, Beck.”
Chapter Five
She couldn’t believe she’d said the words, but they were true. She wanted what he was offering. How long had this need been inside her, unfilled, unresolved?
Beck’s hand came up to grip her neck, to force her to look up at him. “You obey me in this room. You will do what I tell you, take what I give you here. If I scare you or tell you to do something you don’t want to do, say the word red and I’ll stop. I mean anything, Kim. You can stop this at any time.”
She could take everything he had to give and stop him before actual sex. He was telling her she didn’t have to pay him back with intercourse.
But the sex would be for her, too. “I’m not going to stop you.”
His fingers tightened slightly, bringing her up on her toes. “You always have a choice, but sometimes it’s fun to pretend you don’t. I need to hear you tell me you understand that you do.”
He was offering her a fantasy but needed her to understand consent was everything or the fantasy didn’t work. “I can tell you no if that makes it hotter for me, but all I have to do to stop it is say the word red. You need to understand that I want you. I want everything you promised me, but I’m afraid that you’ll hold back because you know how much I want it.”
“I promise, I’m not trying to punish you, but in the end you’ll have to trust me. If you can do that, take the rest of your clothes off and then I want you to go to the table where I rubbed your legs and I want you to put your hands on top and spread your legs wide with that pretty ass of yours up in the air.”
“You’re going to spank me.”
“I am. I’m going to make your ass red and your pussy wet. I’m going to touch you everywhere I want because for these moments your body belongs to me and you don’t have to think about anything but following my commands and taking my discipline. If that doesn’t work for you, we can try something else, but I want to be in bed with you tonight and I want to be the reason you can sleep. Tell me if the idea of me disciplining you is frightening or arousing.”
“You know it’s arousing.”
“I do, but unless you’re willing to admit it, this can’t work.”
She stepped back slightly and he let go of his hold. He didn’t scare her on any physical level. He wouldn’t hurt her like that. Emotionally he could wreck her, but she couldn’t let this chance go. If there was any way to connect with him again, she would take it because she was an idiot and she was still so in love with this man.
Maybe tomorrow she could fool herself again, shove those emotions deep, but tonight she wasn’t going to lie to herself.
She hooked her thumbs under the plain cotton undies she was wearing and eased them over her hips, her heart starting to thud in her chest in a mix of excitement and dread. It was an intoxicating cocktail because she’d been numb for so long.
“You are so fucking gorgeous.” He stopped her before she could do what he’d asked, and his eyes were back on the scar from the bullet wound she’d gotten in Colorado.
“Don’t, Beck. Please don’t bring him into this.” She couldn’t have Levi here with them. It felt like Levi was always there between them, pushing them apart.
His jaw tightened but he nodded. “Then do as I told you.”
She breathed a sigh of relief and moved across the floor to the table he’d indicated. She placed her hands on the padded top palms down and spread her legs outward. The position made her incredibly vulnerable, putting almost every inch of her skin on display for the man who was about to discipline her.