Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
“According to Ezra that was the only reason he didn’t hurt himself,” Charlotte pointed out. “He didn’t want his brother to know what had happened. You saved him. You got him in touch with people who could help him and put him on a path he seems to genuinely love.”
“Well, he helped me out later. I wouldn’t have gotten through my pregnancy without him.” Any anger she’d felt at Ezra, she’d dealt with a long time ago. She’d made her choices and she lived with them.
“I doubt that seriously. I think you’re one of the most capable women I’ve ever met. But that’s another point. He left you alone to raise a child.”
Kim wasn’t sure why Charlotte felt the need to grill her, but it made her antsy. The night before and this morning weighed on her. Not because they’d been bad, but because of how comfortable she’d been. The truth of the matter was she was waiting for it all to fall apart, and there was a piece of her that wanted it to, wanted to get it all over with so she could move on. “I left him. I didn’t give him the chance to be Roman’s dad.”
“Yes. You fled in the middle of the night while a psychopath was looking for you. That’s not the actions of a pragmatic operative. That tells me he did something awful that night.”
“He said some words. He was angry.” Those words still echoed in her mind. She heard them every single time she worried she wasn’t a good mom.
“Words can hurt way more than punches sometimes. Especially when they come from someone we love. I should know. I did a lot of things to Ian I’m not proud of. In the beginning, that is. I hurt him quite badly. I thank the universe that my husband is actually pretty good at expressing himself and processing his emotions. Oh, he’ll tell you it makes him vomit, but he’s good at it. We had a shot because he let us work it out, and not just in bed, though there was a lot of that. He let me apologize.”
“I told you, Beck apologized. We both did bad shit. Some marriages aren’t supposed to work out.” That was precisely why she was so antsy. She believed that. They’d been through too much to start over. She was done being angry with him, had let go of that emotion altogether, and it was good to feel…numb. God, was that what she was afraid of giving up? The safety of the cocoon she’d woven around herself? She wanted to get up and walk out and not talk about this another second. Instead, she forced herself to smile. “There’s no need to worry. I’m good. Beck and I are in a good place. And I’m glad he’s talking to Ezra again. Now if we could solve our Levi problems, I think we could all get on with our lives.”
“What does that involve? I ask because if you’re planning on staying here, I can give you information on the best schools,” Charlotte offered and sat back. “The elementary school close to your house is fabulous.”
An image of her and Beck walking Roman to school whispered across her brain. “I’ll keep that in mind if I decide to move here. I’m pretty established in Europe.”
“Ah, so I should start thinking about who can take Beck’s place,” Charlotte mused. “It’s been nice having him around. He doesn’t mind traveling and he doesn’t mind working with different partners. You wouldn’t believe how rigid some of our guys have become. And by guys, I mean Erin.”
“Why would Beck quit?” It was a dumb question. He’d already said he would, but she felt the need to ask it, to force an answer from someone else. It was illogical for him to uproot his life since they weren’t going to be together.
“He’s going to want to be with his son,” Charlotte replied. “He can’t do that from here if you’re back in Malta. I was hoping offering you a job here would tempt you to stay, but if you’re taking Roman back, I know Beck will go, too.”
“It’s not as easy as that. He can’t simply move to Europe. There are a lot of hoops to go through.” She knew Beck had said he would move if she forced the situation, but she hadn’t truly believed it. Except he seemed to want to be a dad.
If he wanted to be a dad, then he shouldn’t have pushed her away. He didn’t get to waltz back in seven years later and dictate what happened in her life.
Damn it. Maybe there was some anger down deep.
Charlotte was looking at her like she wasn’t sure what to say. “I don’t think a bunch of red tape will deter him. He’s been searching for you for seven years. He’s not going to let his lack of proper paperwork keep him away from his son.”