Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87367 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87367 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry I wasted your time on the distillery.”
“No, that was an even trade. Don’t ever think otherwise.”
We stood in silence as I accepted our fate. “I’ll head out and let you get on your way.”
I went to the door, set my hand on the doorframe. I should have left, but the sweltering anger in my chest…at Cohen, or just this damned situation…stopped me in my tracks.
“Guess we were at a different exit than I figured,” I blurted out.
I glanced over my shoulder. It was clear he was about to say something, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle whatever it was.
“Sorry, that was a low blow,” I went on. “I think now’s my time to bail…speaking of sunk costs and all. Goodbye, Cohen.”
“Goodbye.”
Just like when heading over to his place, I had a hard time recalling how I’d wound up back on Elliecomb. I was being guided by my emotions, by the anger pulsing through my veins, but then I realized…no, I wasn’t angry. I was heartbroken.
This was something deeper than my heartaches of the past. It seared right to my core.
Tears pushed from my eyes, and I cried all the way home.
Cohen was leaving…tomorrow, for Christ’s sake.
Somehow I found my way into the basement, and sat on a box, looking through old photo albums. I stopped on a picture of Big Momma hosing off her mud-soaked kids, Dwain and Lee, in the yard. Beside that photo was another of Walker and me playing in the sprinkler. I turned the page to see an image of us swimming in the pond. With Big Momma and all the siblings in it, I knew Big Daddy must’ve taken the photo.
How the fuck did I wind up going from being so fucked up over Cohen leaving to looking at these photos?
But I couldn’t deceive myself. I knew the reason.
Another loss. Never enough time spent with the ones I wanted to spend it with.
I knew one day the hole in my heart would heal, but I’d never get rid of the scar.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Cohen
Jesus, I felt like a piece of shit. It had been two days since I left Georgia, and I still couldn’t get Brody’s look out of my thoughts—the hurt I’d seen when he came over to find out why I was leaving, when he told me we were at different exits. The worst part was that we weren’t. I wanted him so damn bad. Wanted him more than anything I’d ever wanted in my life, but how could I be that wedge between him and his family? Brody already felt enough guilt where they were concerned. Big Daddy would never accept Brody and me. All it would do was hurt him, and my family had done enough of that over the years. This pain would be short-term. He’d get over it, but losing them, risking them for me, was something Brody would never get past.
My bedroom door pushed open, and Isaac was there. I didn’t know what I’d do without him. I couldn’t imagine making it through this without him by my side.
“Lying there thinking how much of a dumbass you are?” he asked.
Yeah, yeah I was. That and how much this fucking hurt. “Now isn’t the time.”
Isaac came into the room and lay on my bed with me. “God, I’d forgotten how comfortable the beds are at home. We need new beds in the Mitchell house.”
“We’re not going back to the Mitchell house.”
“In fact, we just need to get rid of all the furniture. No offense, but your bio-dad had shit taste. Maybe I can get it cleaned out while we’re gone and call in a decorator so it’s very us when we get back. Plus, we left your car there. That was stupid, by the way.”
“I’m not going back,” I said again, knowing he heard me the first time. I didn’t know why he was so intent on heading back there—well, other than I was sure he could tell I was miserable. “And the furniture has grown on me. It’s…very Mitchell and Buckridge.”
I tried to get out of bed, but Isaac grabbed my wrist.
“Are you going to tell me what in the hell happened? This isn’t like you—the whole running thing. We were fine. We were happy. We were moving forward with the distillery, and you were in love for the first time, which you still totally are. Don’t try to deny it. You gave your cold, dead heart to that country boy, and he brought it back to life, Cozies.”
I rolled my eyes, though he was right. Every damn word Isaac had said hit the nail on the head, and even that stupid saying made me think of Brody because it was so him.
“If you cared a lick about Brody, you’d walk away and leave him be. He’s got a big heart, that one, and he’s always wondered what was out there. He’ll fall for you, and he’ll hurt his family because of it, which will do nothing but hurt him. If you love him like you say you do, you’ll leave him alone. You owe us that.”