Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 113837 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 569(@200wpm)___ 455(@250wpm)___ 379(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113837 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 569(@200wpm)___ 455(@250wpm)___ 379(@300wpm)
“You know you’re gonna go, Drew,” he said. “Just rip the Band-Aid off and make it easier on him…”
“I feel shit for leaving him.” I’d never felt so torn in my life. I didn’t want to leave either of them.
Bellamy reached over to the nightstand and turned off the light, and we laid there in the darkness. The only noise was his heavy breaths, and the occasional sound of Scooter howling at the cop sirens in the distance.
I wondered when I left, would I eventually become some long-forgotten girl that he once rescued. Would time and distance make all of this seem like something he could lose?
“You know...” He exhaled, lifting my body with the hard rise of his chest. “I’m not gonna be okay with you dating other guys up there, right?”
“What?”
“Just because you move doesn’t mean I’m done with you, baby girl.”
My heart skipped. A pressure in my ribs eased as he answered a question I had debated in my head for the last few weeks: Would he want to stay with me?
“You’d still want to be with me when I’m halfway across the country?”
“You could be on the other side of the globe and I’d want to kill a motherfucker for thinking he could have you.”
He was a Neanderthal, but his possessiveness meant everything at that moment.
“No one else could have me.” I had to say it, had to put it out there. “But it will be shit for you.”
Seconds passed where the beat of his heart against my palm quickened.
“It’ll be shit either way,” he said.
I imagined myself in New York. Him stuck here, or at college nearby. For four years.
“Eventually you’d move on,” I whispered, and that thought killed me--Him with a faceless girl. Her having Arlo’s love, maybe even Bellamy’s. It made me feel sick.
“No. Because I fucking....” His hold on me tightened. “I like you, Drew.”
“I like you too.” That wasn’t even close to it though. Because I loved him, but a guy like Bellamy....he wasn’t the guy who fell in love with a hopeless girl.
And I was hopelessly in love with him.
Silence engulfed us once more. Whatever I did, it would be tough, but for the first time in my life, I felt like someone had my back. Bellamy felt like gravity, keeping me in orbit.
“So, how does it feel to have spent all those years in your stupid-ass prep school just to receive a diploma from one of America’s worst schools?”
“You know, I don’t appreciate your negativity right now.”
“Dayton graduate…” He snorted. “Do you even know the Alma Mater?”
“Definitely not. God, I can just imagine how awful that graduation ceremony is going to be.”
“Pretty terrible.” He swept a hand over my arm. “Some guy usually sells his moonshine out of the back of his truck, so half the football stadium is shitfaced by the end of it.”
“Wow.”
I’d have skipped it if I could. Mainly because I knew no one would be there for me.
Neither my mom or dad had even called me. I shouldn’t have cared. My dad wasn’t someone whose approval or pride I needed. Stuff like that shouldn’t have to be earned with blood, sweat, and tears.
My fingers crept over Bellamy’s chest, playing with the small crucifix at his throat.
“Is your mom going to graduation tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t she?”
“I don’t know. Thought she might have to work.”
“Nah. She put in to be off three months ago.”
“Of course,” I whispered, my voice wavering.
“Screw your dad, Drew,” he said, sweeping a hand over my face, like he knew exactly what I was thinking.
“Not like I expect anything from him at this point.” It bothered me, of course it did. My dad’s rejection was still a knife in my chest. I couldn’t voice that out loud though. “I’m his greatest disappointment, remember?”
Bellamy grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him through the dark. “You’re smart and funny, and you stand up for yourself. And if he thinks anything about that’s a disappointment, he can fuck right off.”
I didn’t know what to say.
His hands knotted in my hair as he shifted his weight on top of me, peppering kisses down my throat. “You’re the best person I’ve ever known, baby girl. So fuck him.”
A lump formed in my throat, my heart squeezed. “I don’t deserve you,” I said.
“You’re right.” He pressed a soft kiss to my mouth. “You deserve better.”
“I don’t want better.”
“Good. Now tell me you hate me.”
I smiled. “I hate you. So much.”
48
Bellamy
The longer I laid there, staring at the ceiling, the angrier I grew. Until the small trickle of fire seeping through my veins turned into a raging inferno. He’d hurt her, and I couldn’t stand it.
By the time eleven o’clock rolled around, I’d climbed out of bed and thrown on clothes, quietly leaving the house. And now, I was pulling onto the street she used to live on, fuming.