Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 75089 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 375(@200wpm)___ 300(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75089 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 375(@200wpm)___ 300(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
"Nadine, can we have a minute?" Dr. Shepherd asked, getting a nod from Nadine who happily left her boss to deal with me. "The puppy?" she asked, moving to sit down on the floor in front of me.
"Yeah."
"You tried absolutely everything in your power," she told me.
"I know. But what good am I if I can't save animals who need saving?"
"We can't save them all, honey. No one can. Not even if you had a lifetime of experience. There are some animals that come to us too far gone. I know you know this."
I did.
But how could I explain to her that the facts didn't matter?
It still hurt.
"Nadine is sick of me."
"Nadine has been here a long time. She's become a little more hardened."
"I don't want to be hardened," I admitted.
"I'm starting to see that," Dr. Shepherd agreed, putting a hand on my knee. "And I think it is admirable to feel so deeply, but I'm not sure it will make for a satisfying career or work environment."
"I understand," I told her, reaching up to swat away an errant tear. "I will pack my things."
"What will you do?" she asked, a good woman, a caring person. She didn't like the idea of me having to go and start over even if my presence at her hospital was toxic.
"I... I guess I will go home," I told her, the idea coming to me out of nowhere.
I loved Navesink Bank. My whole family was there, my friends, all my childhood memories. But after so many years away at college, it had been somewhat easy to stay away, to get a job close to where I had already been living for so long.
I didn't really consider going back. At least not in a full-time sort of way.
But my job was finished here.
My lease was up at the end of the month.
It all seemed to line up at once.
Like the universe was pointing me home.
It should have felt like defeat to head back after so many years on my own, but as soon as the words were out of my mouth, the rightness of it was undeniable.
I had no idea if the local vet offices would be hiring, if they would be more tolerant of my emotional response to losing animals, if I would have some sort of income to fall back on.
But thanks to my loving, generous parents, I wasn't in debt. I had been working on the side of school for six and a half years. I had a little nest egg that I could use to start over if I got there and felt cramped by my childhood home.
My parents would love to have me.
My mom would like the help with all the various animals she was always caring for, both permanent and temporary fixtures in her life.
It was the right move.
I was going home.
I could figure it all out from there, I was sure.
"That sounds like a great idea. Maybe you just needed a little break between school and work. I remember how hard those years were. You've got to be exhausted from all this work."
She wasn't wrong.
I hadn't let myself feel it until that moment. But, God, I was so tired. It was an ache in my bones it was so acute.
I needed to rest, to recoup.
What better place to do that than home?
"Thank you for the opportunity to work here," I told Dr. Shepherd as I packed my things, giving the animals that had been in my care one last look, then making my way to the door.
By the time I got back to my sad little apartment, excitement was pinging off every nerve ending. After a walk with Nugget, I went straight to the local grocery store, begging for their boxes, then headed back home to start packing.
"We're going home, buddy!" I told Nugget, who had no idea what I was saying, but was happy to latch onto my excitement. "You can go hang out with all the other doggies. No more sitting at home alone waiting for your dog walker and me. That sounds good, yeah? And you know who else you will get to see?" I asked, heart warming even further. "Niro! You miss him, don't you? He was your daddy for so long. Really, you're probably more his than mine, but he is going to be so happy to see you."
I never fully forgave myself for taking Nugget back after all those years. It was a constant worry that crossed my mind in the quiet moments before sleep, creating this swirling belly ache that stuck with me until unconsciousness finally claimed me.
I never regretted having him hold onto Nugget, of course. He'd been the one to save him from that raging river that I had fallen into with my attempt, knocking my head against a rock. After saving me, he went back to save Nugget. So Nuggs was every bit Niro's as he was mine. He was the right one to hold onto him while I was away at school, even if my mother was the more obvious choice given her home full of animals—including half a dozen doggy friends Nugget could play with. Nugget was used to hanging out with Niro and me.