Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 76812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
All I know is that I won't let go of him until he forces me to.
Chapter 25
Newton
Last night wasn't the first time I spoke of my childhood.
I've worked through nearly all my traumas in therapy.
It was the first time I whispered them aloud to someone other than a medical professional.
I didn't even have these conversations with the loving woman who adopted me. I did my best when growing up after my mother's death and my placement in foster care to never think of those days again.
I had made certain adaptations in my life that I thought as a child would keep me safe.
I wore clothes to bed, including shoes, until I was in the Marine Corps because of the time mom made us run from a man's house and I had to do so with bare feet in the middle of winter. So it was a lesson learned, and I knew I never wanted to have to do it again.
I didn't turn my back to a room because of the time I was struck in the head with a flying beer bottle because I was blocking the TV.
Minor adjustments were made to keep me safe, and my adoptive mother, the sweet, kind woman that she was, didn't argue with me about it. When speaking with her friend, she called them quirks as if they were completely normal. She didn't force me to take my shoes off or sit in a restaurant with my back to people. She accommodated me, and I'll always be grateful to her.
Thinking of her makes my heart ache. She might be the only person in my life I miss, but cancer doesn't have people complete applications, only choosing the people that won't be missed.
Despite Brielle lying on my chest all night, it still left me feeling vulnerable and a little raw.
I know I didn't have to tell her those things. I also know she doesn't whisper her secrets to me at night because she's expecting me to reciprocate. I could tell by the stiffness in her body when I started talking last night that she hadn't thought for a minute that I could possibly be damaged too.
I just wanted her to know that I understood what she went through a little more than others.
"I was hoping we could hang out in the room today," she says as we walk toward the sink to rinse out breakfast plates before putting them in the dishwasher.
The look in her eyes and the way she nibbles on her bottom lip tell me exactly where her head is.
We showered together this morning for the first time, and although I had my hands all over her body, moving suds all over her skin, we didn't let it go any further than heavy petting.
Apparently, she's still as wound up as I am from the teasing.
I smile down at her, turning her around and escorting her from the room. I can feel more than one pair of eyes on us as we leave the kitchen, and I have no doubt the people watching will make all sorts of assumptions, including thinking that we took things further a lot sooner than last night.
Brielle has been at the clubhouse for a month, and every night she's spent in my room. I guess it would only be natural for people to assume that a grown man and woman spending so much time together would end up having sex sooner. It's not my place to explain myself to any of them, but I get the feeling I'm going to have to do exactly that at my meeting later.
Her hands are traveling under my shirt and over my abdomen the second we step into the bedroom. I kick the door closed, hating that I have to cover her hands with mine and stop her from trying to take things further.
I lean down and press my lips to hers, smiling when she grumbles her displeasure when I pull away quickly.
"I have a meeting," I explain.
Her face falls, and although there's disappointment on her face, I sort of love that she wants to spend so much time with me that it angers her when I have to leave. I'm not exactly thrilled about how my day is going to look either.
"Okay," she whispers, but when she lifts up on the tips of her toes and presses her mouth to mine, I spend the next few minutes getting lost in her again.
I lift her, and she doesn't hesitate to wrap her legs around my waist, her hips rolling the heat of her pussy right where I need it the most in the next breath.
I swear the woman could get off just rubbing on me, and I would chase her over the edge making a mess in my jeans.
"I think I've created a monster," I whisper against her lips.