Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 76812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
"I think we could go out there and sit, even if they don't show up. I just feel like I need to get out of this room."
"Sounds like a plan."
I stand but freeze before following him to the door leading into the hallway. "Will you stay with me?"
"Of course," he answers, as if he didn’t just leave me alone for hours.
We aren’t able to sit in the same spot we sat in before because someone else is there, but Beck leads me over to a different sofa, letting me pick which spot I prefer before sitting right beside me. When I feel half a dozen eyes on me, I fight the urge to either get up and leave or lean into him and absorb some of his warmth.
As much of a freak show I feel like, it doesn't take conversation long to start back up again. These people seem so at ease with each other.
Since I spent so much time observing human behavior when I lived with Nathan, it has always been easy for me to determine whether or not people were genuine. If there was someone in the group that I couldn't quite get a read on, then I put them in the stay-away category. Some people just have this unapproachable air about them.
This group of people all seem really nice. They chat and laugh, telling jokes and stories about their lives before they knew each other. I don't get the sense that they're trying to one-up each other. Some of the women at the shelter were like that. They'd always have to add something to their story, pretending that someone else's story made them remember a part of theirs, but I could always tell when they were lying. Some of those women made their stories sound much worse than they were, as if getting beaten by a spouse wasn't bad enough.
I felt pity for them, but it also made me keep my distance. Many of them kept their distance from me because I never talked about what happened with Nathan and Xan. It's nobody's business. I certainly never felt the need to be the most abused one, as if it would win me some sort of trauma award.
The roar of a motorcycle outside doesn't make the conversation pause, but I imagine they hear bikes coming and going all the time.
Beck shifts beside me, and when I look over at him, I find him looking down at me.
"That's them," he says softly. "I don't want you to get your hopes up. Remember, you can ask to speak with her, but you can't force her to. I wouldn't let anyone force you into a conversation you don't want to have. We have to give Beth the same respect."
I swallow a lump in my throat as I nod in agreement. It's as if he already knows she's going to refuse but she's had some time to settle since the altercation at the house. As I stand to go toward the front door, I let a little hope rise up inside of me.
Beth was always kind to me, although she was a little tough in the beginning.
Unable to resist when I hear footsteps on the front porch, I lift my finger to my lips and chew nervously on the corner of it.
The unease feels foreign to me. I've always been really good at the fake it until I make it type of situations. Right now, I feel completely out of my element.
The door opens, and hope gains some traction when Beth and Oracle step inside with wind-blown hair, rosy cheeks, and smiles on their faces.
The way she looks up at him makes me realize that they have something that a lot of people are missing in their lives.
"Can we talk?" I ask before I lose my nerve. I only pull my finger from my lips long enough to ask the question before nervously gnawing on it again.
Beth looks from me to Oracle in a way that tells me they've had a recent conversation about me.
Sadness immediately begins to settle in me. There's no light in her eyes for me. If anything, she looks annoyed that I'd even waste the time to ask. I'm no longer a concern for her, and it settles inside of me like a venom that will threaten to eat me from the inside out.
I hate the way my eyes begin to burn. Crying, especially in front of others, is a weakness that can't be tolerated. But even knowing that, I won't be able to stop the tears from falling.
"We have nothing to say to each other," she says with no emotion in her voice whatsoever.
A second later, she walks away as if I'm someone she's never concerned herself with.
I manage to keep the tears at bay until I feel Beck's warmth at my side. The second he wraps his arm around my waist, a gasped sob releases.